The Autobiography of Audrey Lim

New

2010-12-15T03:36:00.001-08:00

I have moved to

http://ctaudreylim.tumblr.com

Reading in Reading.

2010-10-18T16:56:00.000-07:00

Warning : Uber long post! Read at your own risk!

It's been a while since I last updated this space.

In case you don't already know, I am in Reading now. :)

Oh well, the past few weeks have been a rollercoaster. From having problems packing, huge doubts on my 'future', having to go through hectic days of getting enrolment done, attending a few freshers parties, eating like a monster, registering for student cards, getting free injections, whitering myself through the cold weather and now facing more problems waking up in the morning, LIFE IS GREAT, I RECKON. :)

Pre-departure

Was trying to detach my emotions from my thoughts. The packing was seriously driving me up the wall. Since I flew AirAsia X, there is a baggage liimit of 20kg per person. Even after purchasing an additional 5kg, I still found it super hard for my luggage to fall within the weight limit. Luggage issues aside, it was a rather....emotional week. Oh well, lets not get there.

London : A place 20 minutes away from Reading via train.

To get to London, you have to take a train to London Paddington. The journey is approximately 20 minutes. With a 16-25 rail card, you get your train tickets one-third off the original price. So, if I were to travel to London on a Saturday morning, it will only cost me £9.90 for a return ticket, as compared to the usual price which is much higher (£16.50 if I can recall.)

Also, public transportation in London is efficient, bar a few incidences - For example, when the London Underground went on strike on the 3rd of October and the occassional closure of certain lines due to maintainance work. London's very well connected. Basically you can get from one place to another by just using the tube. An Oyster Card helps. A Student Oyster Card helps even more! Greater discounts. I envy those in London.

Shopping in London.

I have mentioned this all over twitter, OXFORD CIRCUS (or Oxford Street to be precise) IS A MONEY SUCKER! I'm serious. You can buy basically EVERYTHING there! There are so many outlets there. It's shopping paradise. With a National Union of Students (NUS) card you are entitled to 10% off retail goods. So, you pretty much can get your clothes/bags/shoes/whatever here marginally cheaper as compared to back in KL. Gotta love the student discounts!

Reading

So, Reading's quite an interesting place. It's a quaint little town with plenty of trees. The buses here don't give change, sadly. I'm not sure if the buses in London do, but anyway, it's quite sad that they don't. I'm sure not many of us like to keep coins. Coins are the epitome of false hope. It makes your wallet feel heavy when the truth is, there's (probably) not much inside. Anyway, before I continue to digress further, the public transportation here is not as efficient as compared to London. Obvious reasons, London is a metropolitan area, Reading's just a town.

I'm staying in the university accommodation hall in St Patrick's Hall, Northcourt Avenue. It's catered but not en-suite. I have no complaints, really. The room here is bigger than my room at home. Catered food may not fulfil my needs everyday, but it gets me through the day alive, so that's more than enough. As for it not being en-suite, I never had my own toilet to begin with. Besides, I only have to share the toilet with three other people, so I doubt any of us will be fighting for the wash room. On top of that, there's a football field and a bar just outside my hall!

Whiteknights Campus, Reading's main campus is a 10-15minute walk from my hall. As much as I always love the city life, the campus lifestyle is convenient. Everything can be found there. Futsal astroturf courts, badminton courts, union bar and clubs, union bookshops, union cafes, the library, peer support, you name it!

What is good here?

Local supermarkets! Tesco, ASDA, Sainsburys. Got to love each and every one of them.
Oh did I mention, beer? Found a six-pack of Hoegaarden in Sainsbury's for £4. That is the price of a pint of Hoegaarden in KL during a happy hour. Even so, you must be at the right bar!

Local pubs here have value for money meals here. In Sportsman somewhere along Shinfield Road, you can get two meals for £8. Those meals can range from burgers to Yorkshire Pudding wraps! A pint of beer costs £2 at the most. Got to love the food.

Having said that, I miss Malaysian food. :(

Law School

Just like other universities, the lecturers are very qualified. They have done many research pieces and have vast experience in the legal and/or educational field. As compared to Taylors, the contact hours are significantly less. I have an average of 8 to 10 hours of lectures per week. For this month, Mondays are absolutely free. Therefore it's an average of 2 lectures a day.

My subjects this year are rather....well, it's subject to different opinions. I'm taking Land Law, Equity & Trust, Constitutional and Administrative Law and European Union Law. These subjects are not easy and second year counts to 30% of the final mark. Scary how your performance is taken into consideration.

I'm really grateful to be here doing Law. A year ago I did not think that Law would be the subject for me, but it turns out that this may be the only subject I enjoy unconditionally. Sure I may complain when assignments start to pile in, but as compared to the subjects I've done since secondary school and A-levels, it is safe to say that I do like my course.

Societies

I joined a few societies, namely Amnesty International, Reading University Malaysian Bruneian & Singaporean Association (RUMBSA) and AIESEC. Have only attended meetings for Amnesty and RUMBSA. As of a few days ago, I have been given the honour to handle paperwork for RUMBSA. Yeah, you heard me, Secretary. Hee hee.

All in all...

I'm hoping to learn as much as I can and make the best out of things here. I know that I am not the brightest or most brilliant student around, but I'm here to learn. Not only about law, but life.

This is life.

And I lie awake and miss you.

2010-09-25T10:38:00.000-07:00

It's almost 2 am and I'm wondering what I'm doing awake at this hour.

Tomorrow I'll be leaving for the UK to complete the remaining two years of my degree.

The first year here in Taylors was great. Going into Law School, I did not know what to expect. I was afraid and confused. Life was a terrible mess. I honestly thought I was going to flunk Law School and be a failure as I was before I joined. Turns out, law school opened my eyes to many things. Being there made me more independent as it opened my eyes to many things unseen.

I did many subjects from secondary school to A-levels - Science subjects, math, social science and humanities. Nothing has ever piqued my interest as much as Law did. Maybe I am speaking too soon, but Law is the one (and only) subject that I enjoyed studying. I wouldn't say that I'm good at it, I'm just good at liking it, I guess. (HAHA! Self praise!)

I felt that I had to redeem myself from the flop of my A-level results. Whether I fully redeemed myself, I wouldn't know.

Just reminiscing...

From an old blog post :

“Oh, have I ever mentioned my three goals this year? The three goals I derived while stoning away on the bus somewhere in Egypt. First, none other than doing well in the Law exams - Second Upper lah. Second, producing a reasonably good issue of Lexicon, as Editor In Chief. Third, overcoming my fears in public speaking and getting Best Mooter for my moot. So far, I've achieved one-third of it.”

Now, I have achieved all of it. These however, are just baby steps. As the years go by, I have to set bigger goals and achieve them all. What goals shall I set for the next academic year? Maybe it's too soon to decide, we have to take one step at a time.

I loved the people I met in Law School. Although I am sometimes ‘Missing In Action’ or not mentally present, I love my classmates. Throughout the whole term we spent a lot of time hanging out. Some may say that it is easy to hang out a lot, but is it easy to spend quality time with your friends?

The times we spent in the mamak just hanging out and talking kok,

The laughter we shared everytime something funny happens,

The shoulders we lent one another to cry on (figuratively!),

The words of encouragement to keep our momentum going,

The friendship that binds us, no matter how far apart we are,

All these things are priceless, things that even a good deal of money cannot buy. Words cannot describe how grateful I feel to have them in my life.

We may or may not keep in touch, things may change or be the same, but one thing is for sure, we were once a part of each other's life and that will never change! :)

You'll always be a part of me, I'm a part of you indefinitely...

Shifting an entire lifetime into 20kg of luggage across an 8 hour time difference.

2010-09-23T09:16:00.000-07:00

Most people have packed weeks ago, I on the other hand only started packing a few days back. Honestly, the longest holiday I ever packed for was a three week holiday. That itself took less than a day.

Of course, the bulk of my luggage so far consists of clothes, clothes and more clothes, among other things.

I had to turn my whole room inside out to pick out the things that I want to bring. Looking through old things brings back fond memories.

But how do you fit all your memories into a constrained space of your luggage? You certainly can't take all of them.

You pick and choose.

But sometimes it's easier said than done.

My Walls Come Down

2010-09-21T07:46:00.000-07:00

An excerpt from Tuesdays with Morrie.

"Is the tape on?" he said suddenly, his eyes still closed.

Yes, yes I quickly said, pressing down the play and record buttons.

"What I'm doing now," he continued, his eyes still closed, "is detaching myself from the experience."

Detaching yourself?

"Yes. Detaching myself. And this is important - not just for someone like me, who is ding, but for someone like you, who is perfectly healthy. Learn to detach."

He opened his eyes. He exhaled. "You know what the Buddhists say? Don't cling to things, because everything is impermanent."

But wait, I said. Aren't you always talking about experiencing life? All the good emotions, all the bad ones?

"Yes."

Well how can you do that if you're detached?

"Ah. You're thinking, Mitch. But detachment doesn't mean you don't let the experience penetrate you. On the contrary, you let it penetrate you fully. That's how you are able to leave it."

I'm lost.

"Take any emotion - love for a woman, or grief for a loved one, or what I'm going through, fear and pain from a deadly illness. If you hold back on the emotions - if you don't allow yourself to go all the way through them - you can never get to being detached, you're too busy being afraid. You're afraid of the pain, you're afraid of the grief. You're afraid of the vulnerability that loving entails.

But by throwing youself into those emotions, by allowing yourself to dive in, all the way, over your head even, you experience them fully and completely. You know what pain is. You know what love is. You know what grief is. and only then can you say ‘All right. I have experienced that emotion. I recognize that emotion. Now I need to detach from that emotion for a moment.’

Morrie stopped and looked me over, perhaps to make sure I was getting this right.

“I know you think this is about dying,” he said, “but it’s like I keep telling you. When you learn how to die, you learn how to live.”

I thought about how often this was needed in everyday life. How we feel lonely, sometimes to the point of tears, but we dont let those tears come because we are not supposed to cry. Or how we feel a surge of love for a partner but we dont say anything because we’re frozen with the fear of what those words might do to the relationship.

Morrie’s approach was exactly the opposite. Turn on the faucet. Wash yourself with the emotion. It wont hurt you. It will only help. If you let the fear inside, if you pull it on like a familiar shirt, then you can say to yourself, “All right, it’s just fear, I dont have to let it control me. I see it for what it is.”

Same for loneliness : you let go, let the tears flow, feel it completely-but eventually be able to say, “All right, that was my moment with loneliness. I’m not afraid of feeling lonely, but now I’m going to put that loneliness aside and know that there are other emotions in the world, and I’m going to experience them as well.”

“Detach,” Morrie said again.

He closed his eyes, then coughed.

I closed my eyes, then wondered. It’s so simple on the paper, but will it be simple to have it not just in my head but in my on-going life? Theories. They’re just theories. Theories I’m not equipped with before to make any better decision-making than what I’ve already made. But I can never know unless I try. So I’m trying. I’m detaching.

The most sinister aspect of Jack is his detachment, his ability to distance himself from his feelings. - Victor Garber

What's the story, morning glory.

2010-09-14T09:00:00.000-07:00

The whole process of visa application is a tedious one. You have to make sure you provide the correct documents, read through the policy guidances, fill in the forms and be as meticulous as you can. You end up checking your forms numerous times and making copies of your documents just in case something happens. Then you fix your appointments - You may land an appointment on a certain date and time or you may have to walk in and take a number. The latter is of course, very painful. The wait kills you physically and emotionally. Thankfully I landed an appointment, but I still had to wait really long, as it is peak season. I could have applied earlier but the university sent a transcript that had my name printed wrongly.

The first stage would be sending your documents for inspection at the fourth floor. The visa officers will inspect your documents and then they may say "Yes, please proceed." or "No, your documents are incomplete. We would advise you not to proceed." You can choose to listen to them or not. So if you proceed, you head up to the 19th floor for payment and submission. If you decide not to, you will have to come back another day and most probably you will have to walk in without an appointment. If you have the patience to wait, you will only get an appointment about a week later. In most cases, especially around peak season people will walk in because they've already got a set date on when to fly.

So after you proceed they will tell you to wait for at least 8 working days. Working days only comprise non-holiday weekdays. Oh, do note that the day you submit and pay doesn't count as a working day. The wait kills you again, especially when 8 working days is already due. You start tracking your visa application online. In your mind you start to wonder, "Did I get rejected?", "Was my name spelled correctly?", "Was my passport number correct?", "Did the university give me the correct Confirmation of Acceptance of Studies (CAS) number?" . (If you're wondering why there's no offer letter, it's because it has been replaced with the CAS number system. The anxiety drives you up the wall, and it will continue. The tracking website will state

"Your application is being processed. Please avoid calling or emailing the Application Centre or High Commission for an update."

When your tracking status is updated, the words on the screen read

"Your application has been processed. Please collect your visa at the application centre."

Again, the anxiety kills you. You try to look at the optimistic side, that it has been processed. Sadly, you only know of its real status once you get to the office.

I have only been to that office twice - the first time for submission and payment, second time for collection. And both the times, I have seen people coming out crying or swearing on the mobile phone. No, I'm not being dramatic. Maybe I was at the wrong place at the wrong time, but it did scare me the first time I got there. Hearing stories about it makes it all the more scary. Some people told me that theirs got rejected because they did not have an updated bank statement or that the university printed their names on the transcript wrongly. Heh, if I had used the wrong transcript, I would have been turned down.

Just for your information, once your application has been denied, it would mean that yoou have blown RM 1055.

Oh did I mention, the waiting room in the 19th floor has such small room leg? Makes it hard to sit, especially if you have long legs. You feel claustrophobic. Even during collection when it only took fifteen minutes, it was absolutely daunting.

Oh well, you feel extremely elated once you open your passport and you see your visa imprinted on a double-sided page. At least you know all the trouble you had gone through was worth it.

Next stop, Reading. :)

P/s: This is only my opinion. The whole process might sound like something so terrifying, but I guess it's just a matter of being there at the 'right' time, which is off-peak season. ;) I would humbly reiterate that this is only my experience, from my point of view. So please don't take my advice, unless you plan to have extremely low expectations so that you won't see the bad side of it coming. :)

Is there a God out there?

2010-09-10T08:47:00.000-07:00

"I think there might be a God out there but he doesn't care about any of us. We're just his guinea pigs."

My brother, at dinner.

I say, if there is a God out there, I'd like to see him for myself.

The same way I'd like to see Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny. Sadly there is no way to prove that they exist. So where do we go from here?

"The faces all around me, they don't smile, they just crack.

2010-09-04T07:35:00.000-07:00

....because I am living just to breathe." - The Bravery - Believe.

Note: Author is suffering from lack of sleep. It may not make sense, but this is what I'm feeling right now.

A wise man once said, "Life is not measured by the amount of breaths you take every moment, but by the moments that take your breath away."

We breathe to live, we inhale, we exhale. We take deep breaths or sometimes short, moderate breaths; depending on what the circumstances are. Breath after breath, thought after thought, we need something more to keep on breathing for. We need something to live for, something that matters. What matters to us?

Is it money?

Is money something that you deem to be everything? Would you like have all the capital and use it to make yourself happy? What can you spend on to make you happy? Gallivanting around the world? Donating it to the poor? Buying the luxurious items that fulfil your wants/needs? (since we find it hard to differentiate both these words) Investing to make more money?

Or do you think there are other things more important than money? Do you think that money should only be for sustaining purposes?

Is it fame?

Do you like having all the privileges due to your status? Do you like having the attention given to you even when it is uncalled for? Do you like feeling 'special', like a idol that everyone worships?

Or do you just want to be an ordinary person? Just another face in the crowd, just another name in the yellow pages.

Is it love?

Do you want to have someone who you could safely say you 'love'? Or more importantly, do you want someone who 'loves' you just as much as you 'love' them? Someone you can make your husband or wife, someone you see yourself having a future with. Do you want to feel safe in someone's arms and never alone?

Or does 'love' make you feel alone from yourself? Does 'love' make you feel like a different person?

Is it making a difference? (A good difference)

Do you love doing a noble thing of helping others - the marginalised, the abandoned, the underprivileged, basically those in dire need of help. Making a difference can be done in a large scale and sometimes a small scale. After all, it's the little things that matter sometimes. Do you believe in the greater good?

Or do you think it's pointless to make a difference for humanity because the world is full of too many selfish bastards?

How about living?

Would you love to live everyday, seizing the various opportunities that come your way, and being in full control of your fate? Would you work towards realising your goals? How about doing things that you could dedicate yourself to? Even if it may not be the most lucrative job, but it still fulfils your satisfaction.

Or would you choose to let go of your passion and be more conventional?

***

My point is, I don't know what I want in life.

Lets go on dreaming for we know we are so close yet so far

2010-08-15T12:48:00.000-07:00

Will we make a mark this time?
Will we always say we tried?

As I lie awake at 3.22am, I feel tired yet unsettled at the same time. Many things have been bothering me. This week has been a rollercoaster of emotions. I was on a happy streak and on Thursday it was all over. Only a few know why and I refuse to tell the whole story explicitly here. [No, it’s not boy problems, I have better things in life than to cry over a boy.] It was just disappointing how things turned out to be. It felt as though humanity just shattered like broken glass. A decision made is one that is supposedly final and hence certain to what follows up. Different decisions might be made later on, but as humans we tend to follow similar decisions made before that we are comfortable with, unless something extraordinary happens.

Sadly what was decided proved the imprudence of justice and legitimacy. It was the first time looking at a person feeling disappointed towards a certain decision, albeit him seeing it coming. For once, I knew what it felt like to have my heart sink into my stomach. I had always defined unfair as something else - maybe not getting the attention from people I hold dear to my heart. Oh how fucking trivial of me. Now, I know what unfair means. Unfair is when a person gets compelled to be wrong because he fought for what he deserved. Now, that is called violation.

Of late, I found myself pondering upon many aspects of life (often under the influence of minimal quantities of alcohol). Maybe these two simple words will start to define my perception of life - BIGGER PICTURE. While others are denied of their rights, some indulge in frivolity and others choose apathy. Which is worse? My answer is obvious, but what is yours?

All of this might seem vague due to the lack of details, but my point is this - Look at the bigger picture. Start giving a fuck about ‘better’ things.

I want to celebrate and live my life

2010-08-10T07:06:00.000-07:00

I'm in an unusually happy mood now. It's been a while since I felt great, for no particular reason. Crazy, innit? No, nothing happened at all, other than the change to the usual routine - My 'domestic helper' went back to Indonesia for a well-deserved break, so I now have to do most of the chores.

Maybe the chores are making me happy?

Oh my, this is really unusual. Nothing seems to tear me down today. It's just unusual how I'm noot my usual self today, my usual angsty self.

I think I'll just savour the moment while it lasts. Tomorrow might just be a different day altogether.

"Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be." - Abraham Lincoln

The years go by and time just seems to fly, but the memories remain.

2010-08-08T06:59:00.000-07:00

Vivian once told me that people do not understand what she blogs about because her blog is for her to see how she has changed over the years.

I understand what she means. Now that I look back at some of my old posts, I don't only find it hard to comprehend it, but I find it hard to believe that I could post anything like that. Oh well, we change and maybe having a blog is a good way to reflect on who we once were and who we are now, and who we might be in the future.

I'm going to take the opportunity to be extremely self-indulgent in this post. So,

WARNING: IF YOU DISLIKE SELF-INDULGENT POSTS, PLEASE DO YOURSELF A FAVOUR AND CLICK ON ANOTHER LINK AVAILABLE ON MY PAGE.

This blog started in 2008, February 2008 to be specific. I was only 17 (going on 18) at that time. I honestly remember very few things at that time.

Put it simply:

2008

- Was a hopeless romantic. Yes, I believed in love and happy endings.
- Was quite...spiritual and gratious (at least that's what my mum had to say). I believed in God (or a superior being)
- Believed in 'His plan for me'. Something I shouldn't have done.
- 'Surrendered' everything to the person up there.
- Was enthusiastic about everything I did.
- Always wanted to feel like I belong, one way or another.
- Hated feeling alone.
- Was thoroughly against drinking, smoking, or anything I had deemed 'sinful'.
- Aimed to be an 'overachiever'.
- Had the most unrealistic dreams : Going to Oxford, or settling for a reputable London University at the least.
- Thought that life was simple.
- To put it simply, I was naive as a sheltered child.

2009

- Started New Years not remembering how I celebrated it. Yes, I sinned.
- Was STILL a hopeless romantic, something I shouldn't have been
- Was STILL spiritual, at least until I read The God Delusion.
- Was confused, like a little lamb brought onto this world.
- Screwed up my A-levels, something I still regret doing.
- Realised that I only knew how to set unrealistic goals and not work my way towards it.
- Watched my 'dreams' shatter right in front of my eyes.
- And by doing so, I disappointed my parents. Another thing I regret doing but can't change.
- Spent more than half of the year feeling like a hopeless basket case. The bucket of tears would've been able to wash at least five cars.
- Struggled with self-esteem.
- Demolished myself, in every way possible.
- Hence, 2009 has been added to my shit list.

2010

- Started off 2010 with the people I love. Yes, I always say I love a,b,c,d,e,f,g,x,y,z , but there will always be one person that has my back, Joanne Ong.
- Started to realise that it's actually fun to be alone.
- Deccided that it's okay to embrace doubt, because nothing in this world is certain.
- Started to explore other options and opened my eyes to new things.
- Became a cynic, in every way possible. Distinguishable from a pessimist.
- At the same time, I've realised that it's alright to settle for second best. 'Best' is what you perceive it to be.
- Still struggling with self-esteem.
- Started to believe in existentialism, as well as the Invictus poem.
- Savoured every moment, because I've learnt that all good things come to and end.
- Stopped taking things for granted, and did much better for exams.
- Realised that not everything is clear cut or black and white.
- Became more 'sinful', but who cares.
- Realised that there are NO SUCH THING called plans. Life is an ad-lib theatre.
- Still struggling with self-esteem, but it's all under control.

Change is inevitable. Over the years I have become more unprincipled and have neglected the things I believed in.

I hate looking back at the past only to realise that I was a blooming naive litte idiot. Am still one, only less of a kid. I hope that my 21st (in 2011) will be my coming of age. Always thought that my 18th would be, but clearly,

"Change; we don’t like it, we fear it, but we can't stop it from coming. We either adapt to change or we get left behind. And it hurts to grow, anybody who tells you it doesn’t is lying. But here's the truth...the more things change, the more they stay the same. And sometimes, oh, sometimes change is good. Oh, sometimes, change is...everything."

Whatevs.

2010-07-28T09:37:00.000-07:00

While I still feel the need to get this off my chest, I thought I should just rant on my blog, rather than doing it on Twitter.

I have 8 weeks left in this country. Yes, EIGHT. It's ironic, isn't it? Just last year I felt like I want to leave this place so badly, but now I feel somewhat sentimental and patriotic. That's, just not me.

I shall try to disregard the fact that I am indeed leaving, unless some visa complication pops up.

I shall also try to disregard the fact that some people are not letting me enjoy this remaining eight weeks.

I feel helpless, really. Suffocated yet so sentimental. I guess what a good friend who shall not be named said it's true. Audrey Lim = Emotional Sadist.

xx

It sets you free as one guard shouts "dead man walking".

2010-07-26T08:04:00.000-07:00

Something I thought I'd share before I head off to bed. Typed it out on M.Word this morning while waiting for a meeting.

As I sit down in this office with nothing to do (well, I should be going up to the LAs or partners and asking them if they need me to help with anything instead of doing absolutely nothing where I am sitting), I start reflecting on last week. Fortunately for me, Amer Hamzah, a lawyer from the firm that I’m attaching to had invited me to follow him and his chambering students to court to assist them. Among the cases I was supposed to sit in were two habeus corpus cases (Benjy and Azzahari), one murder appeal, one case involving drug trafficking and a trial involving criminal breach of trust. Due to some scheduling issues, the Azzahari case was postponed to the next earlier date, and due to some complications arising for the Benjy case, the habeus corpus had to be withdrawn. As for the murder appeal, I had to follow another lawyer for a meeting, because she is my supervisor. So, the only cases which I managed to watch was the one involving drug trafficking and the trial involving a criminal breach of trust.

So what’s the point in writing all these? No, I don’t plan to gloat about following a criminal litigator to court. Obviously, in a criminal appeal, there are two sides - the appellant and the respondent. The appellant would be the counsel representing the accused, whereas the respondents would be represented by the Deputy Public Prosecutor (DPP), acting for the state. When it comes to such cases like alleged drug trafficking, the counsel representing the appellant will have to help reduces the charges - acquittal or substituting the conviction. The DPP on the other hand is supposed to prosecute the appellant.

In the case that was handled by Amer, two men (A and I) have been charged for drug trafficking. From my little knowledge of this case, I managed to gather that the series of events took place in the year 2000, which was 10 years ago. Back then, both were driving a car (owned by a guy named Z) towards a roadblock somewhere in West Malaysia. 35 metres from the roadblock, both brothers knew that they could actually make a U-turn and evade the roadblock, but they went through the roadblock calmly. Once the car was being inspected for drugs or any illegal substance, the police found 38kg of marijuana hidden beneath the back seat of the car. The minute the police shouted “Ada ganja!”, both fled. Hence they were charged. However, there was a dispute that arose whether they had fled before the police shouted or after. After listening to all that, I could deduce a gap in the case - The car was owned by someone else, and both the brothers went calmly through the roadblock. This suggests that they have either been set up or what not.

So, the punishment for drug trafficking in this country, as we all know (or don’t already know) is hanging. Yes, capital punishment, something I deem so orthodox and inhumane to a human being. For committing a crime, one gets the punishment of death in an inhumane way. Of course, there are many perceptions of inhumane. Some may say hanging is not as inhumane as stoning or vice versa, or in comparison with amputation, lethal injection etc. Apart from drug trafficking, crimes such as murder or attempted murder of the Yang Di-Pertuan Agong carry the sentence of hanging. In my humble opinion, taking a person’s life away is inhumane, regardless of how it’s done.

In one of the MyConstitution workshops, we conducted a game called ‘Where Do You Stand’ with the participants, as a way to freshen them up. So, we would normally ask a few questions and ask the participants to form three groups - the ‘yes‘, the ‘unsure’ and the ‘no‘. One of the questions was, “Should the death penalty be abolished?”. I was curious to know why people were unsure. One of the participants said, “What if someone had murdered your family member?”. Another said “What if a drug trafficker gets someone close to you really addicted to drugs?”. Their point was that you might have a stand that the death penalty is inhumane but if it involved something that affected you even indirectly, you’d be unsure upon what stand to take.

Back to the case, Amer managed to point out the gap in the case and the judges were convinced. In the end, the conviction of drug trafficking was substituted with drug possession. As a result, both the accused received a 20 years sentence and have ten strokes of caning each. However, they will only have to serve another three years because there is a one-quarter emission for each year that they have served, give the fact that they have already been in jail for ten years. I was glad that the appellants won the case and most importantly, that the appellants did not have to endure hanging.

I was glad that the appellants won the case and most importantly, that the appellants did not have to endure hanging. In my humble opinion, anything involving drugs, be it possession or trafficking is foolish to one’s own self - unless one was brought up with drugs. Bottom line is, drugs are dangerous and once you get involved with it, you have to deal with the many consequences such as having to go to court or even getting detained without trial under the Dangerous Drugs Act. (Detention without trial, is another story altogether.) However, why do people look at criminals differently? Why do drug traffickers and murderers have to be punished with death? They are still human, too. There are many reasons to why a person commits a crime - terrible upbringing, money rewards(?), messed up in the head, etc.

Then again, how different is a criminal from an ordinary person? A criminal is just another human who commits crime. Well of course, the prosecution would deem a criminal as something different, like an alien or something. So, why do some want to ‘play God’ and take another person’s life away? Fine, I don’t believe that we can prove God’s existence and that God does take a person’s life away, but I do believe that nature will take a person’s life away. So, how is sentencing someone to death in a loop of a rope a way of showing that nature is taking its cause? Who is the state or the prosecution to take another person’s life away? No doubt, crime doesn’t pay and crime causes harm to others. It is punishable in other ways such as lifetime imprisonment. No, not the ‘lifetime imprisonment’ that equates to twenty years in jail. ‘Lifetime’ as in lifetime taken in its ordinary meaning! That way, you actually put them away for life and not risk endangering the lives of others.

I’m sure there are other ways to punish a criminal. Perhaps the state could even put them in a prison-cum-rehabilitation camp throughout their lifetime imprisonment. If a person were to die, why not die a happy man? (Okay that’s just being too optimistic) All in all, there are other ways to punish a criminal apart from taking his/her life away or subjecting them to abject torture. They too are human and death should only come when nature or ‘the person up there’ decides. At least that’s what I have to say about this.

Man, I would suck as a lawyer. Judging from the amount of waffle and digression, I wonder how you lot actually managed to get all the way here.

x x

You mustn't be afraid to dream a little bigger, darling.

2010-07-24T08:40:00.000-07:00

& now I start to feel that this post might just be exceptionally more indulgent than other posts in this space. So, read at your own risk, then? =)

It feels as though I only update this space whenever I feel like it. Even if I do, it's either an update on my life or random things with absolutely no substance (daily conversations, random rants). I've been wanting to blog about something more substantial - ie something more informative rather than just talking about my life, but I simply lack the drive to do so. I guess it's just the fear of coming across as naive or 'trying hard' to my readers (if any).

Life's been... life. Lately, I've had the luxury to watch Inception. I'm sure everyone who has watched this movie came out of the cinema feeling absolutely 'mindfucked' by Christopher Nolan. In addition, the 'post-mortem' discussion about the movie leads to people feelings more 'mindfucked' than they already are.

"The dream is real."

"Your mind is the scene of the crime."

"Dreams feel real while we're in them. It's only when we wake up that we realize something was actually strange."

"Never recreate from your memory. Always imagine new places."

Most GOOD movies I watch will either:

1) Make me laugh hysterically (if it's a comedy)
2) Make me cry
3) Make me go on discussing it with others for days!

But no movie has

Mindfucked me

or

Made me reflect upon life and its many memories so deeply.

It's ironic how a movie can make me wonder whether my dreams are really dreams, or is my reality a dream. If dreams could be reality, they are called DREAMS for a reason, but if reality verges on being a nightmare, then it is a bad dream. So my reality is still a dream, only a bad one. So it's real, only thing is prefer what I see when my mind wonders off. Okay I'm going around in circles.

Inevitably I found myself asking various questions.
Am I still the same person I was last year? How different are things now? What's my purpose in life? Am I unhappy? If so, why? Is it because I feel incomplete? Do I need inspiration? Do I still hold the same principles? What was my perception of life? What is my perception of life?

I can go on listing, but those questions basically revolve around what then was and what it is now.

I guess the human mind tends to recreate from memory, but why is that so?

Is it because we are so comfortable with the memories we hold?
Or
Is it because we hold on to the memories too fondly, unwilling to let go?
Or
Are we too reluctant to create something new than overwrites the old memory?
Or
Is it all of the above?

We only have ourselves to answer.

What if, you have a wall that was once filled with colours and designs, and one fine day you decided to build a new wall and paint it with a new colour? Right now, you're thinking of how to rebuild it? You know you don't want it to be the same way, but you can't help but recreate from memory. So you fight your thoughs and desires, and now it's all so dark, because this wall is incomplete. You've built a part of it, but how do you want the end product to be? The same as it was before? Or differently?

x x

This is how we roll!

2010-06-28T08:16:00.000-07:00

Last night:

While the bro pretents to study but is instead watching a movie on the desktop in the living room...

Mum: Eh boy, stop pretending to study!
Bro: Eh, eh, I am studying.
Mum: Ya you are pretending.
Aud: At least he pretends weiiii, I don't even study!
Mum: My two little devils. Yeah you have a point. Boy, you go study.

When mum leaves the scene...

Bro: Shit how she know I was watchin?
Aud: Cause you are watching it out in the open. Stupiddd.

And today when my bro is watching a movie on his portable dvd player in his room,,,,

Mum: Eh, I thought you said you were gonna study?
Bro: Well, err... my friend wants the dvd back tomorrow so must watch now lah.
Mum: Study lahhhhh.

When mum leaves the scene...

Bro: WTF. How does she know I was watching? I put it at the corner of my bed.
Aud: Did you use headphones?
Bro: No.
Aud: Of course la she'll know. Stupidddddd.

Charm.

2010-06-26T06:25:00.000-07:00

Audrey Lim says:
hahahahah you know tottenham their stadium sells shirts that has wenger's face and a caption saying "I LOVE YOUNG BOYS." or "WENGER IS A PAEDO"
lol
fuckers

nicholas says:
hahaha
thats funny
should buy one
oh you heard?

Audrey Lim says:
heard what?

nicholas says:
roy hodgson agreed on principle to join liverpool
now its just negotiation with fulham

Audrey Lim says:
ahhaha what if he's a man that lacks principle?

nicholas says:
haha
then i am sure he will fit right in with liverpool's owners

Audrey Lim says:
lol
imma repost this in my blog :p

This is how Nicholas Fung charms the world with his wit and brains. ;)

Aud: Oh hello my sexy beast! ;)
Dee: Oh hello my kinkiest dream!
Aud: Oh I've got a room, y'know, on the sexth floor.
Dee: Sounds great. Will be there in a minute.
Aud: Honestly, do you know who this is?
Dee: Yeah, Aud.
Aud: But your new sim card doesn't have my number.....

This is how Diyana Zuraimi gets by, she's got a superb memory.

Zean said:
ITALLLYYY
LOSINGGG
ALL IS WELLLLLL

Audrey Lim said:
hahahahahahahhaa
italy sucks balls

Zean said:
YARH
I HATE THEM

Audrey Lim said:
damn overrated la.
some more so defensive.

Zean said:
they just plain dive n defend
about as exciting as seeing fish swim

Audrey Lim said:
HAHAHAHAHA FISH SWIM!

& this is how Ng Zean charms the world with his sense of humour. :)

2010-06-23T11:38:00.000-07:00

The fan spins while she observes the shadows,
Oh how redundant, how circular,
Will we be shadowing our lives, or will we be the circular argument?

The Heart Is A Bloom

2010-06-22T09:54:00.000-07:00

I remember saying that I will blog about my first year of law school once I'm done with my exams. Being the skeptical me, I had to make sure that I advanced to second year before actually blogging about it. The wait is over, the results are out, I'm advancing to year two. Looking back at things, I feel blessed throughout the academic year. So this is a post dedicated to all the people who have made my life great in law school. :)

The Great People

- Vivian, Angelina, Ashwathy, Aida, Shakina, Samuel, Banun, Sze Chuin, Daniel, Ellan, Nicholas, Ida & the rest.
(p/s: Sorry if I forgot to list down others...)

Thank you all for being such great friends. You all are truly beautiful, inside and out. I will miss everything about each and every one of you. I can go on and on talking about how great you people are, and I will, but in a separate post dedicated specially to you all.

I loved every moment of First Year:

1) Field trips - PWTC, Parliament, Duta Courts, Putrajaya Courts, Skrine

2) Some public lectures - Expectations of Malaysian Bar, Law Speaker Series.

3) Events - Fine Dining, MyConsti Campaign

4) Moots - Probably the most nervewrecking experience, but the best. I could not speak in public, but mooting helped. Got a pretty cool judge! Hahahaha!

5) Exams - Absolute pain, but the 'hard work' or shall I say lack of hard work paid off well enough. First year's results were decent, but there shall be no such thing as last minute work for second year onwards because everything coounts!

6) Lexicon - It's a lot of work and it took its toll on me. Until now it is still ongoing. Lexicon has given me alot of experiences and opportunities, and I am thankful for that.

7) Dirty talks - You know how Law students are. We can talk about anything from law to politics to cars and then to sex. Hahaha. We are at our best when we're talking dirty.

8) Tutorial sessions - Miss Sunitha's one especially. I miss how everyone diligently prepares for it, not wanting to risk getting thrown out. Hahaha, it's amusing to see, really. I have Miss Sunitha to thank for my decent contract results. Thank you, Miss S! I'm really going to miss all the lecturers here in Taylors.

The decision to stay back another year to 'refine' myself was probably one of the best I ever made. I can't tell if I am more refined now as compared to before I entered law school. Whatever it is, I am thankful for the great experience in first year. It is by far one of the best years of my life. :)

Something like a mystery
And every step you took we've grown
Look how fast our time has flown
A journey to a place unknown
We're going down in history
Earthquakes can't shake us
Cyclones can't break us
Hurricanes can't take away our love

Whatcha say?

2010-06-20T10:26:00.001-07:00

It's been a while since I last went on Blogger. There are so many updates. New skins available. Say hello to my blog's face lift ;)

This blog is practically dead anyway. Quite a sad case, really. Everyone has switched to Tumblr, or something. Tumblr's pretty cool and all, it allows you to reblog things, something I'd wanna do but I'm just too lazy to create a new account and layout, etc. You know the drill.

Just got back from Singapore with ma Indian Clan, and I've got a throbbing headache not from a hangover, but from irregular sleep hours. You know how we teens roll when our parents are not around. Tomorrow (or shall I say later today) is another story. It will determine whether I will get my ass overseas or whether I'll be staying back here to re-take the exam like a miserable fuck. To add salt to the wound, I chose EU law for year two. It's only available for students transferring to Reading. If I don't get to transfer, I will have to choose between International Law or International Human Rights Law. So, if it all goes well, my second year subjects in Reading shall be Land Law, Equity and Trust, Constitutional and Administrative Law, Writing Credit and European Union Law. :)

That aside, this holiday has been enjoyable. I honestly thought it'll be boring, but it really has been great. :) Even with Lexicon and MyConsti stuff, it's all good :) For once I love long holidays and I wish that this holiday could go on for as long as I want it to. (minus the Lexicon bit, it's too much work!)

Brazil's playing Cote d'Ivoire in ten minutes or so. So tired but I really really wanna watch it! It'll be exciting fo'sho! Drogba's bitchface ftw! LOL. Hey, you gotta admit his bitchface thrumps Torres' and Beckham's. Oh speaking of which, Spain lost to Switzerland :( England drew again. Hahaa all the more reason why I've stopped supporting them. Oh and on a brighter note, Netherlands is the first team to get into the Last 16! Wooooot~ Gotta love 'em Dutch boys.

Aight. Does this count for an update? ;)

Invictus by William Ernest Henley

2010-06-13T00:13:00.000-07:00

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate,
I am the captain of my soul.

P/s: Anyone noticed that each line of the poem has eight syllables? :)

You wake up on the other side and you strain to force a smile.

2010-05-28T08:07:00.000-07:00

I just realised something that all (okay fine not all but MOST) of us are guilty of doing.

We prejudge others. Not judge, prejudge.

It's already bad enough that we judge others, what more about prejudging?

& I wonder why do we have a notion of anything less than mediocre prior to knowing what others are like. Fuck it, we don't even know what they are like so why prejudge?

Why are we born with a brain when we use our brain to deduce the worst of things and jump into hasty conclusions.

I'd rather be brainless than to use my mind to assume the worst of others, because sometimes, I'm guilty of that too.

'Cause when I needed a place to hang my heart
You were there to wear it from the start
And with every breath of me, you'll be the only light I see

This is a fast life and we are on a crash course.

2010-05-08T07:52:00.000-07:00

Greetings!

It seems like a long time since I've updated this blog. I don't think I'll be able to express myself as eloquently as I used to. Haha who am I kidding? I was never eloquent to begin with. Lets just say I don't think I'll be able to rant as much as I used to.

So, what has been happening since I last updated? PLENTY. No joke.

Audrey has joined the Bar Council Constitutional Law Committee.
- Yes, I have. In spite of having other obligations like Lexicon and Law School, I joined it anyway. It doesn't hurt, I guess. The committee is full of people from various backgrounds - lawyers, journalists, law lecturers, students, etc. It's probably the only committee in the Bar Council that has non-lawyers involved in it. Even took a trip back to KYUEM to help facilitate the Reconstitution Earth v2.0 workshop, which is similar to the one held in Taylors in conjuction with their first launch. Only difference is that they had FIVE hours. We only had THREE hours. It felt weird taking a trip back to the HOOT-an. Met many familiar faces there and I'm truly glad that they took their Saturday afternoons off to attend the campaign. Back when I was there, I would either be spring cleaning on a Saturday afternoon or making my way back home to enjoy the weekend. Oh, the KYUEM days. It was fun while it lasted, but life in Taylors is the bomb, lah. (minus the search for parking and shit food in Lakeside) ;)

Audrey is STILL busy with Lexicon stuff.
- So we toiled to finish up the issue. I wouldn't say our efforts were in vain, but we have a lot to improve on. This shall be put on halt until after exams. Elaborating on this will only make me want to down more beer and hence will result in a beer belly!

Audrey is suffering from exam stress.
- Well, which Law student isn't? Tort is in 4 days and I've been eating non-stop. I don't know why. Other people lose their appetite when exam is near. I on the other hand can't stop eating. To add salt to the wound, I have been sleeping 10 hours a day lately. All these 'occurences' have culminated in adding 5kg to my body weight. Almost couldn't zip up my skirt when I was going for an internship interview. Lucky thing it didn't tear apart. Internship shall be elaborated on later.
- There's this research that has proven that sleeping for less than six hours a day may cause early death. I was relieved to see that, until I read the sentence "It also concluded that those who consistently sleep more than nine hours a night can be more likely to die early." Oh well. We were all born to die anyway. So, who cares anyway? Carpe Diem.
- I saw this status update on Facebook.

"We die many times in one lifetime. Some don't die enough. Some die too often. Too many try to live forever in that short span. We were born to die. Life is practise."

It's true - death is inevitable, so why fear the inevitable? Everyone is going to die anyway, just a matter of WHEN.

Audrey will be doing an internship this summer.
- As mentioned above, I was called to [a law firm] for an interview. I guess it was their standard procedure of taking in law students. Having said that, my internship will last for a month from mid-July onwards. I don't know what to expect, but I hope to learn, I guess. It would be to presumptuous to say that doing an internship will gear me up for the legal world. Nothing is certain as of now - I might not even be in the legal world. Nonetheless, I hope this internship will serve its purpose. :)

Audrey seems to have an issue with 'apologies'.
- So last week, a young boy, Aminulrasyid was shot by the police. It was found that he was driving illegally and a parang was found in the car (?). So gunshots were fired and he died as a result. This was followed by the police issuing their apology for shooting. Yes, he was wrong to be driving illegally, but firing gunshots? They were doing their duty, and no doubt they have the right to bear arms. What happened to fire only when you're being attacked or apprehended with grievous harm? I can't take a neutral view on this.

- Giving them the benefit of doubt, their apology was sincere, but is it enough to absolve the mother's sadness? Another teenager was shot today in Negeri Sembilan, and the police issued an apology. I'm not doubting their sincerity. It's just that how can an apology, no matter how sincere absolve anyone's sadness? You cannot say that it is too late to apologise because it is not too late, based on proximity in time. However, emotionally, it's not easy to forgive another, especially if it concerns your loved one. What are you supposed to say? "Oh it's alright that you shot my son. All is forgiven."
Lets not even go to revenge. How do you even more from denial to acceptance? I'd like to know.

Chamakh has snubbed deals from Tottenham and Liverpool to join Arsenal.
- Finally a glimpse of hope - at least for next season. It's a good thing that Chamakh chose Arsenal above the rest. I have not seen him play, but for some reason I can't wait to see him play. Again, another title-less season for Arsenal. This season has been a roller-coaster for Arsenal. At some point in time we had big hopes of winning the title. From then on it became only mathematically possible. Now towards the last game of the season, we will have to ensure Tottenham doesn't take third place. Crazy season it has been.

Year One of Law School is coming to an end.
- It feels like only yesterday I enrolled to this program. Have met many amazing people and learnt many things in law school - mooting and managing a committee, among other things... I must say, first year of degree was really enlightening. Although it has been rather hectic, I would not trade any of this for anything else. Well, of course, this requires elaboration......Only after I'm done with my exams.
Aaaaah. Must. Not. Fail. Anything!

Summer time is going to be Legend-WAIT FOR IT-dary!
- WORLD CUP 2010 IN SOUTH AFRICA. WOOOOOT!

That is an update, I guess. :)

"In the confusion and the aftermath, you are my signal fire..."

Got a pocket, a pocketful of sunshine.

2010-04-02T06:04:00.000-07:00

Well it's a Friday and I'm finding myself almost broke. Well, that's nothing new. What's new is how I got three quarter's broke - STARBUCKS THREE TIMES IN A WEEK.

Yeah, you heard me. Starbucks. Three times. One week. It seems as though I've found a new place to get work done, be it Lexicon or Law. Who knew that doing work came with a high price? Sad, innit?

So, exam is in 5 weeks and 6 days. Woohoo. I am looking forward to it. It's going to be so exciting, I bet. Sitting in for three three-hour papers and one two-hour paper. I'm hoping that I come out of the exam hall looking as though the paper drained the life out of me, rather than coming out looking blank. That, however, we will only know in a few weeks time. So, I've got to start opening a book and not Twitter. It's hard, seriously. I really like Twitter because that is where I can get my news from. All you have to do is follow the respective user, in this case, the user is the news site. Ie - @m_insider, @staronline, @MyConsti, @loyarburok etc. They display the news in snippets, followed by the link leading to the respective website. So it makes life a whole lot easier for the lazy person who wants to read. Rather than going to the website and sluggishly looking for news, all you have to do is follow and click. Well, not sluggishly, but you get what I mean.

I guess lately I've been starting to lose momentum in everything. Been lacking the energy and enthusiasm in anything for that matter. It's easy to complain, but lets do the difficult first, shall we? Should start focusing on one thing at a time rather than scattering my mind everywhere and thinking too much. Sometimes I find myself in a dilemma deciding what to do first. Feels like shit, really. Part of me is thinking "Hurry up and decide." Another part of me says "Choose this first, it's more important." And another thought at the back of my head says "Save the important bit for last." Wish I was a less fickle person.

Speaking of fickleness, I've finally made up my mind to transfer to Reading this fall. Mum and dad suggested to do so last year, around December before I went to Singapore. Finally at the end of March, I decided to transfer. This time, I must say, I based my decision on the right reasons. =) What's right, however is subjective. So, we'll just let the 'reasonable person' decide, okay? With regards to accommodation, I am planning to apply for a catered hall. Well, Audrey Lim can't cook to save her life, so might as well get someone to cook for me. The transfer, however, will depend on my exam results. Best not to go too far ahead on myself for now.

Oh oh, two nights ago I watched the most gruelling football match of my life. Arsenal FC v Barcelona FC. Craziest match of all time, I was at the edge of my seat the whole time. Even when they zoom the camera to the referee, I start freaking out. The match, however, was detrimental to Arsenal in spite of the draw. As most people have put it, Arsenal got 'raped'. 6 shots on target, as compared to Barcelona's 22 shots on target. Utter madness, I'm telling you. Also, Arsenal sustained so many injuries in that one match. Fabregas, Arshavin and Gallas picked up injuries and most likely they will be out until the end of the season. Fabregas fractured his knee or somewhere around his leg. Gotta salute the boy though. He played in spite of the recurring injury. Still a good playmaker, nonetheless. Lets keep our fingers crossed for the return leg, though Arsenal will probably get 'raped' again. Shall try to be optimistic and refrain from saying "Even a miracle won't cut it."

Was about to talk about my summer plans (if there are any), but referring to the previous sentence, I shall blog about it when summertime comes then. Till then, gotta go be a lifeless law student. Oh, have I ever mentioned my three goals this year? The three goals I derived while stoning away on the bus somewhere in Egypt. First, none other than doing well in the Law exams - Second Upper lah. Second, producing a reasonably good issue of Lexicon, as Editor In Chief. Third, overcoming my fears in public speaking and getting Best Mooter for my moot. So far, I've achieved one-third of it. =) That, however, is not enough.

With regards to the previous sentence, I should stop talking nonsense and get to my studying. All three shall come, it must.

Existentialism - philosophical movement centred on individual existence: a philosophical movement begun in the 19th century that denies that the universe has any in-built meaning or purpose.

It requires people to take responsibility for their own actions and shape their own destinies.

Damn right. :)

"The problem is not the problem, the problem is your attitude about the problem."

How much can one take?

2010-03-27T09:07:00.000-07:00

As she stares blankly into space
The floor appears to be falling apart
The walls of her room are caving in
She wonders if life is coming to an end.
She questions, why can't she feel pain anymore?
Why can't she cry, let alone know how she really feels.

In a world full of a sea of faces
Her confusion manifests into despair
These faces disappear, one by one
Similar to a genocide
The mirrors no longer reflect
And she soon feels as if she's not alive.

Is she living with her heart shut,
Or has that part of her heart no longer exist?
It's enough morphine, at least for now.

Even the good can be a curse

2010-03-20T08:36:00.000-07:00

Decisions - whoever invented that word must have invented the word 'burden' as well.

Sometimes it makes me wonder, which is worse? Making the wrong choice and learning the hard way or knowing that you COULD make a choice for the better.

I think most of you readers (if you EVER read anything written in this space) know what I'm talking about. Been contemplating these choices for the past three months, and up until today I have not reached a verdict yet. Worst of all, I'm running out of time. I wish it could be the type of thing where although decided, there's still some leeway. Sadly this isn't.

I have always admired those who make their decisions with minimum hesitation. Often, I am envious of them. How does one stand firm in the decision they make and not look back at anything?

Whatever choice I make, I shall assume full responsibility for it.

"Makes it hard to know which road to go down, knowing too much can get you hurt." - Cheryl Cole

Heartbreak Warfare.

2010-03-05T04:53:00.000-08:00

Singapore 2009.

Here's to what we hold, and what is yet to come. Cheers.

Upcoming Events:

1) Inner Temple Alumni Dinner.
- Fine dining, I will master thee. There's so many ethics to uphold when it comes to these type of dining events. Harder for a person like me who eats like a cave(wo)man when I'm really really hungry. There will also be a cocktail reception before the function. :)

2) Talks - Syariah Law, Resume Writing.
- Have to attend it, anyway. So, no complaints.

Things to do:

I can't count with my fingers and toes. It will not suffice.
Anyway, bring it on, BRO.

Oh, it just hit me yesterday. Why do Malaysians like to use 'bro'?

#1 We Malaysians are 'affectionate' people.
#2 Hence, we call each other 'bros'.
#3 We don't use 'sis', because 'bro' sounds cooler.

But, the problem comes here. How can I be your 'bro' if we didn't come from the same mum? Bet if I said "Hey bro, what's crackin'?" to a random person I bump into in the elevator, I'll get a weird stare, simply because, we do not come from the same mother -.-

I still like using 'bro', though. :) There's just this certain 'bond' with the other person (whom I know) whenever that word comes up.

Okay. Gotta stop rambling about the most pointless things in everyday life. On to my Tortilla. :)

P/s : Stay strong, people of Chile.
<3

Better think twice, your train of thought will be altered.

2010-03-03T06:50:00.000-08:00

It's been a while since I updated this blog, or should I say this space?

There's a lot to say, plenty of space, but so little time. Then again, time is what you make of it, and sadly I'm not one with the best time management ever. Time after time, especially when I feel like destressing, I look for an outlet. Regardless of how I try not to blog, as it takes up a good deal of time, I still find myself logging on to Blogger and clicking on the Dashboard. It's still MY outlet after all.

So much has been happening - not only in Malaysia but all over the world. First we had the tiger coming out of the woods, and then two footballers getting caught off-guard. Another Arsenal player is injured. It was saddening to see Ramsey break his leg. He's only 19, at the peak of his career. :( Now to the less 'trivial' things, a few of my classmates and I attended Phase 3 of the MyConstitution launch. I suppose we are all at that age where we start to be interested in such matters of the state. The motion of the forum, State Powers: Reality or Myth was thought provoking, considering the many issues relating to the state which has happened lately. I'm glad to have attended all the phases so far. On a bigger picture, the earth shook. LITERALLY. From Haiti to Chile within a month, it is truly disheartening.

It's already Wednesday and my week has been productive. Finally done with the Internal Moot. Mooted twice, won twice. Best speaker for one of the rounds - was very fortunate for that round, really did not see it coming. It feels good to win a case, though only a moot case. Of course, the things I'm saying would have been different if we lost both the rounds. It was a good experience altogether. I've finally gotten over my fear of speaking in public, and indeed it was a good way to build my confidence. :)

We finally interviewed Edmund Bon for our Lexicon issue today. Driving to KL itself was a hassle due to the usual jam and the confusing roads, but it was worth it. The committee was very satisfied with the outcome. Thank you, once again, Edmund for taking time off your busy schedule for this interview. We will do the best we can for this centre spread.

Sadly, the cycle never ends. There's still assignments and more academic articles to proofread. It's safe to deduce that life now revolves around assignments and Lexicon.

Change of topic. It's getting redundant.

Oh did I mention, my spontaneous trip to Egypt during CNY was quite an eye-opener. Looking at the people there trying to make a living at all costs really opened my eyes. Don't get me wrong, I honestly don't think I'm a naive person. However, looking at how people there go to various extents to make a living really opened my eyes. No doubt, I was at times annoyed. On other occassions I act absolutely unperturbed, but I can't help but say that this indeed opened my eyes. Apart from the people, the country is rich in history. After thousands of years, you have the present day Egypt. Nothing comes overnight, we should all know that. Pictures of the trip are on Facebook.

Apart from the sightseeing, the trip was a well-deserved break. Spent a good fraction of my time reading books when I was not sightseeing. I must say, Jeffery Archer's A Prisoner of Birth is a MUST READ. It is, indeed, so far, the ultimate page turner. The last book that took my eyes away was The Time Traveller's Wife, simply because the story was rather sad. Prisoner of Birth is a totally different genre altogether. The story revolves around Danny Cartwright, who had been framed in the killing of his fiancee's brother, Bernie. Danny was sentenced to prison in Belmarsh for 22 years and seeks revenge while his fiancee seeks for justice. Another book I read was Malaysian Maverick, Mahathir Mohamad In Turbulent Times by Barry Wain. Was so bored on the airplane that I finished it during my flight from Bahrain to KL. I still stand firm on the ground that the author had written it on a neutral point of view. It's merely my opinion, anyway.

The Sphinx reminded me about this poem, Ozymandias that I studied in Literature back in A-levels. This poem is written by Percy B. Shelley in 1818. In case you didn't know, Ozymandias is the Greek name for King Rameses II of Egypt.

I met a traveller from an antique land
Who said: Two vast and trunkless legs of stone
Stand in the desert. Near them, on the sand,
Half sunk, a shattered visage lies, whose frown
And wrinkled lip, and sneer of cold command
Tell that its sculptor well those passions read
Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things,
The hand that mocked them and the heart that fed.
And on the pedestal these words appear:
"My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!"
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare
The lone and level sands stretch far away.

Gone are the days of poetry and books. I truly miss having time to decipher the meaning behind a poem. I miss going for Literature classes. :(

Now on to some quality time with my playmates - what else could it be? The likes of Denning, Diplock and others. ;)

"Satisfaction lies in the effort, not in the attainment. Full effort is full victory." - Mahatma Gandhi.

2010-01-28T06:27:00.000-08:00

I've never felt this worned out. Back in college I used to be able to pull an all-nighter. Nowadays, I can't stay awake past twelve, unless it's a drinking session.

Maybe it's for the better.

Existentialism?

2010-01-23T03:51:00.000-08:00

WARNING : READ AT YOUR OWN RISK. EYES MAY FAIL DUE TO EXCESSIVE WAFFLING EXPRESSED IN WORDS.

Hello there, stranger.

I know it's been a while since I last updated. Apart from being as busy as a bumblebee, I don't know what to update on, honestly. Updates on life? There's always Facebook and Twitter.
Updates on life? All on Facebook and Twitter. Frankly, I've got bored of the blogging culture. So, many things have been happening lately (on a larger scale). The church arson issue blowing out of proportion in our country, the saddening incident on the earthquake that hit Haiti followed by another earthquake just a few days ago, and football nonsense involving Gary Neville's obscene gesture to Tevez followed by Tevez calling him a moron and a bootlicker.

There were many times that I felt like blogging about those issues and how I feel about it. After much thought, it was pointless. No doubt I know what I have to say about the church arson issue, but what can I do about it? It's saddening really. It's always the case of voicing your dissatisfaction and what SHOULD be done, but will anyone actually listen to what an ordinary girl will have to say? Will the government take my advice seriously, let alone are the opinions in my blog of any substance? The answer is obvious. I'm tired of feeling sick and tired of the whole incident. So, all I'm doing is scrutinizing their actions without contributing a single thing. It's like sitting on the couch and whining that the world's a bitch but what am I doing? Sitting on a fuckin' chair and bitching about Malaysian politics. It makes me feel useless. Period. I might as well be apathetic to everything. After all, apathy is much better than hatred, isn't it?

As for the Haitians, I wanted to blog about it, to express how I sympathise for them. But will blogging help relieve them from their plight? I think you would know the answer. In this case however, there's always something you can do. Give your donations to any aid agency. Sad to say, I'm not sure of which one. Will find out soon. See, this is me again. Only knowing how to feel emotional about things that have been happening, but not doing anything about it. Here's something YOU can do. If you're feeling as whiny as me, donate to an aid agency. :)

As for the life of yours truly, it has been really hectic. The past two weeks have been all about being stuck in the horrendous traffic jam. Whichever highway I take, it makes no difference. Since the location of my house is such, I can only choose between taking the NKVE or LDP. Sadly, whichever way I choose gets me stuck in the jam for an hour. There was a day when I tried leaving the house at 7am, only to reach at 8am. That made me wonder, why the fuck does my wallet feel so light even by Wednesday?

Traffic jams + Assignments + Thoughts on MOOT -> STRESS -> Eat more (overpriced) food at the cafeteria + Petrol running out fast

Overall, all that = MORE MONEY SPENT. There's a chain of causation, you see :)

I'm not going to say FUCK LAKESIDE CAMPUS. I'll just say, FUCK YOU AUDREY LIM. PLEASE CONTROL YOUR SPENDING.

Besides getting stuck in the jam, life in Uni has been amazing. Gotten back a few assignments, I'm happy with the outcome so far. Like my literature lecturer once said, "Never rest on your laurels." I can't help but agree wholeheartedly with her. Just on Thursday, a fraction of the cohorts played werewolf while waiting for class to start. We played again after Tort lecture. I must say, this game really helps polish your lawyer skills. That's if you know every trick there is in this game. =)

Apart from that, mooting is coming up. Daniel & I got a Criminal case. It will be interesting, since we are the appellants. *clapclap*. We will be defending the accused, which won't be advantageous for us, but what the heck. We will get through it and make sure we don't fuck up. Well, I gotta make sure I speak eloquently and not make any awkward pauses in front of the judges. Those judges are private practicioners. *Hyperventilates*
Our case will be fought after CNY. Either way, before or after it's a lose-lose situation. Parents have already booked the tickets to Egypt, and as a result, I can't make use of CNY to prepare for moot or to even celebrate CNY and eat Yee Sang. Oh well. Life is all about give and take, isn't it?

Alright. Since I've been bitching about sitting down and not doing anything about it, I shall get off and turn my attention to the books. No life already la. =( Gotta be Little Miss Workaholic/Studyholic from now on. Speaking of which, someone should come up with that shirt. =)

“Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.”

Crash, crash, burn let it all burn

2010-01-07T02:10:00.000-08:00

What does 2010 have to offer (for me, and some of you?)

1) Second Semester of Law School Year One.

2) Mock Test.

3) Moot Trial.

4) Court Visits!

5) Other field trips or exhibitions, perhaps?

6) Our committee's first Lexicon issue. Bring it on!

7) Law Ball 2010.

8) UEFA Champions League 2010 :)

9) World Cup 2010

10) Internships

11) Summer break!

12) Flying off to UK, but that has yet to be decided.

13) More of Singapore?

14) And if 12) succeeds, maybe more of the UK and Europe?

15) But before we think about 11), 12), 13) and 14), Final Exam comes first!!!

From where I'm standing, 2010 seems interesting for me. A little tough in the case of some of the points above, but Imma be a hardcore warrior yo! Bring it on. And 2009's going into my shitlist. Kthxbye.

I suppose, the thing I'm most grateful for in 2009 is The October Cohorts. :) You guys taught me what life really is. And for that, I love each and every one of you. You know who you are!

But for now, it's time to nail mocks. I have deactivated my Facebook account, because it's basically pointless for me to waste my time commenting on pictures or updating my status like a crackpot doing crack. Considering I've deactivated it before, I've never died without it, so why not do it again? And Vivian, I will reactivate it after Mock Test okay? So we'll still be 'married' on our status later on, don't worry.

I know I've been saying there will be no resolutions for 2010, but I guess the only 'resolution' I have this year is to not be living in the past or dreaming of the future. Like Kris Allen sings, "live like we're dying." So why not savour every moment before it is lost? (:

"There's a fire inside this heart and a riot about to explode into flames"

30 Seconds To Mars - Hurricane

<3

I can , I can transform ya .

2010-01-02T21:44:00.001-08:00

Happy Belated New Decade!

Got back from Singapore last night, and I must say, I've fallen head over heels for Singapore. *looks around* I've been there many times with my parents but all we do is hang around Orchard Road and take a cab to wherever we wanna go. Knowing them, unadventurous and all, couldn't do much. This time, we went on an adventure. :)

How to be a Singaporean?

1) Get a CEPAS card.
- It's something like a Touch N Go card here. You have to top it up every now and then.
- Very useful for MRT and Bus. You can just put it in your wallet and scan it at the entry/exit points of the MRT station or in the bus itself.
- You get cheaper fares. Instead of $1, you'll probably pay 68c for a MRT ride.
- Not much difference, but must be 'kiamsiap' !

2) When the MRT is full and the doors open telling you to get out, do not get out
- Just look at the person next to you and hint to them that THEY should get out.
- This is what you call KIASU. :)
- Very evident in stations like Orchard and City Hall. Hahaha.

3) Use only public transportation.
- It's cheaper, and not to forget, safe.
- Don't spend on taxi fares, unless it's really an emergency.
- Must be kiamsiap!

4) Eat only in food courts
- Again, KIAMSIAP.

5) No jaywalking!
- We were trying to cross the road. Some security guard asked us where we're heading to. We told him and he said "TAKE THE UNDERPASS AH."
- Wow, they stop you from jaywalking. How cool is that.

6) Don't drive unless you've got a flashy car.
- Five days and we could not spot a cheap car.
- Everyone there drives cars like BMW, Mercedes, Honda, etc.

7) Don't cut queue when lining up at the changing rooms.
- Changing rooms in Orchard Road are always crowded. People here have really strong legs.
- I don't know how some people can queue half an hour to try on clothes. Fifteen minutes and my legs felt like frickin jelly.

8) To make it simple, follow all the rules.
- People here follow rules alot I'm telling you. They make us Malaysians look like rebels.

It's only been a day and I miss Singapore already. I really don't mind getting a job there, risking the fact that if I ever get unemployed there I'm fucked. That's like a long way down the road, so lets not get ahead of ourselves. So here's the summary of the trip. I'm skipping the bus ride.

Day One:

Arrival. Stayed at Joanne's aunt's place. Thank you, Aunty Siew Ling for letting us stay with you. Rested from the bus ride and watched How I Met Your Mother at the tv room. Got a call from Jason, who happened to be spending his last night in Singapore. Met up with him at Wheelock. I realised that the bookshops in Singapore are really big. They have so many literature books, and many other books that are not sold in Malaysia. Explored Orchard Road, but it was already closing everywhere. Took the bus back to Coronation Road and walked home.

Day Two:

Explored Orchard Road and Bugis with Joanne and Yi Ming. Met up with Lindsley later on. Shopping should be made an Olympic Sport, I'm telling you. At least that's one sport we can compete in. *wink* As usual, I love shopping in Orchard Road. How I wish we could abolish the bloody conversion rate. It's frustrating to see an item sold for a small figure, only to realise that you have to multiply it by 2.4 or sometimes 2.5, just to see if it's value for money. Nonetheless, I'm happy to have bought what I needed (wanted, actually). Got two pairs on skinnies for $85 (Forever 21 $55, Cotton On $30) and a skirt from Cotton On for $10. Got a wallet from Charles and Keith for $30. I'm really happy with what I bought. Sadly this time, no items from MNG for me. Couldn't find anything suitable, in spite of the sale everywhere.

Bugis was..... okay. Didn't really like it. Orchard Road is still the best for me. :)

Day Three

Met up with Lindsley at City Hall. Headed to Suntec City, the place where F1 takes place. The mall was really interesting. Food Republic there was really different from the one in Orchard Road. Went back after that to rest and change. Met up again at Braddel to get changed at Lindsley's place. Had a hard time looking for cabs along Braddell Road. We felt like hookers with what we were wearing, especially with high heels and what not. Eventually the taxi driver allowed 7 of us to squeeze in. :D

Dinner at PastaMania @ Far East Plaza. Hit Zirca @ Clarke Quay at night for some nightlife with Jo, Yi Ming, Lindsley, Rei-Chel, Jane and Pei Fen. Also, Lindsley turned 19. So, this was her coming of age. ;D

Lesson learnt : Don't wear heels unless you plan to just sit there and look pretty. Zirca was really huge and awesome. The lighting was good. There were stripper cages there. No, we didn't strip in it. Left Clarke Quay at 3am. Got a cab home to Lindsley's.

Day Four

Woke up just in time for lunch. Went back to the house in Coronation and crashed there. Slept and then got ready for the New Year's Eve countdown @ Siloso Beach, Sentosa Island. Took an MRT to Harbourfront and a Sentosa Express from Vivocity to Sentosa. The Beach Party was epic. The crowd was so energetic. They had 5 arenas for the people to dance at. Some arenas were only open to hotel guests, so we stayed at the Main Arena most of the time. There were DJs spinning at different times. All sorts of music from Hiphop to Rock music. The crowd was at its craziest at 11 to 11.30 pm. We danced on into the night, and left at about.....3.30am. It was so hard to get a taxi at that time. Got back to Coronation at about 5am. Took a bath and crashed.

Day Five

Got up around noon. Couldn't even walk properly. Legs hurt so much. Stayed in the whole day until about 5pm. Met up with Jane, Pei Fen and Rei-Chel at Bugis for dinner. Went with Yi Ming to Queenway Mall to look for mum's shoe. Managed to get it. Headed home and crashed. While walking back from the bus stop to the house in Coronation, we realised that it would be our last walk in Singapore. Can't believe we walked that much. Now I know why most Singaporeans are in such good shape. Haha :)

Day Six

Lunch at Burger Shack, Coronation Plaza with Jo, Yi Ming, Nicole, Joleen and Aunty Siew Ling. The burgers were good, probably the best food we tasted in Singapore. Went back to get our luggage and catch the bus. That marked the end of our trip. :(

I'd love to go back to Singapore once again. The only thing we did not have time for was to go to Geylang and ask one of them how much per hour, just for the sake of asking. Oh well. Some other time, maybe.

Singapore was LEGEND-wait for it...-DARY!
Now I'm getting the stares from Malaysians who are anti-Singapore. *hint hint*

Now, to 2010, here's to the things that we hold, and to the things that are yet to come.
If 2009 was shitty, just add it to your shitlist. Cheers!

*Insert alcoholic drink here. Shots for everyone!*

Pictures are on Facebook. (:

<3

Tis the season to be jolly.

2009-12-24T20:54:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas, everyone! :)

The Sports World really took me by surprise over the past week.

1) Mark Hughes got sacked in spite of Manchester City winning.

- As much as I detest Manchester City for making Arsenal's life miserable, (Adebayor and Toure, go figure) I really feel sad for Mark Hughes. Manchester City has never been this good before. In fact, they're higher than Liverpool in the table. At some point in time, I thought that they were the underdogs of this season in EPL.

-His sacking was unacceptable, in every way. Personally, I think the Arab owners were so impatient. We have to take into account the fact that they have splurged a good deal of money to buy better players for the team, but they have to consider that no matter how good the players are, they still need time to be moulded as a team. Winning the EPL is not magic. You don't win it with the snap of your fingers, for crying out loud. Look at the big teams like Chelsea, Man United Arsenal and Liverpool. Back then they took a while to become the 'Big Four'.

-His sacking really underlined the impatience of modern day football. Period.

2) Rafa Benitez is STILL Liverpool's coach.

- I'm still wondering, why hasn't Liverpool sacked their ineffective coach yet? No doubt he has won the Champions League in Istanbul, but don't the owners realise that maybe it's time for a change? I know I said Mark Hughes did not deserve to be sacked, but I'm not saying that Benitez deserves it either. My point is, Liverpool is a big team with a good reputation. Why are the owners not doing the right thing? Yet, the Spaniard can still say that he has faith in the team winning.

- You know how the saying goes, "the proof is in the pudding". Benitez may have that much faith in his players and whether it is reciprocated or not, his actions don't speak louder than words. What good has he done for the team? Beating Manchester United? Scoring one goal against Arsenal and still losing? So what if he beat Manchester United? There are more than fifteen other teams to beat, yet they still concede. Their team is not even playing in the Champions League this year. I'm not saying that they're bad, because they simply aren't. Truth is, I think they have really good players (ie Steven Gerrard, Fernando Torres, Dirk Kuyt, Ryan Babel). So if I were the owners, I'd be looking for a replacement right about now.

- As much as Arsenal's doing better than them and we only have Manchester United and Chelsea to worry about at the moment, I'm still wondering, what happened to the 'Big Four'? What's EPL without the Big Four putting on a good show? Sorry, but that's just how I think.

3) Schumacher makes his return to F1, only not to Ferrari. (Fine, I'm not surprised which team he's in now, but his return was just unexpected)

- I know every Ferrari fan loves Schumacher, but I don't, simply because I'm not a Ferrari fan. Some fans are glad to even have him back in F1, although he's not playing for Ferrari. Honestly, I'm not worried about him being back. His older age as compared to other drivers may be a shortcoming. Then again, that's just an assumption. In fact, I'm glad he's coming back. It's intriguing, why he finally decided to make a return at 41 after he had won many championships during his 15 year career.

- Oh well, lets just wait for him in Bahrain, shall we? =)

4) Wenger plans to buy a striker this January to fill Van Persie's place

- I'm really excited to see who he chooses. Something really interesting about Arsenal is that their transfer rumours are merely....rumours. None of which ever come true, Arshavin being an exception! Wenger always brings in the unexpected and surprises all the Arsenal fans. Having said that, I don't really mind whoever he brings in, because 'In Arsene We Trust'. =)

My Christmas Plans?

Honestly, none. I shall make today a good one by actually opening a law book. =)

Oh, and here's one thing. Singapore in THREEEE days. I really can't wait. This will be the first time celebrating New Year's at a different country. Also, my second unchaperoned trip this year. I'm really excited, to be honest. Not because it is unchaperoned, but because of the company. The two people I can actually call my childhood friends. One of which has always been there for me, and another who would've been there for me if I hadn't been such an idiot. I'm glad we're going on a trip together. :)

<3

It's always too much but not enough.

2009-12-22T06:02:00.000-08:00

Mum: Why do all of your friends have boyfriends and you don't?
Me: Cause nobody wants me.
Mum: Sure or not?
Me: I got Chester *big smile* Plus guys are idiots. The good ones are always taken, gay or IDIOTIC.
Mum: He's a DOG.
Me: So? He's so manja I might as well make him my boyfriend lah.
Mum: He's not human.
Me: The only difference between having a dog and a boyfriend is that I won't have to clean my boyfriend's shit up. Since we have Yati, she cleans Chester's poop, so I'll just stick to my Chester.
Mum: *Laughs hysterically midst saying....*You're twisted.
Me: I know.
Mum: What has Law School done to you?
Me: I don't know? I've got more awesome?
Mum: Hmm. You do make sense.

This is what we call quality time. We're twisted people. :)

2009-12-16T05:59:00.000-08:00

We have no story;
Just mere memories.

We've got it going on for years.

2009-12-12T05:07:00.000-08:00

The holidays are finally here! :) I'm so glad.

The past two weeks have been awesome, though I must say, I kinda lost my momentum on the last week. Assignments really drained the life outta me. =(

1st November 2009 - Launching of MyConstitution/PerlembagaanKu Campaign at Taylors.

It was really well-organised. I think the Malaysian Bar Council did a great job with the whole event. The only thing that would've made it better was if we had more time. :(

First, there was the launching of the campaign. Speeches and what not. The launching video wasn't what I expected it to be. In a good way, that is. It was a very approachable and friendly type of video, not as rigid and formal as I thought it would be. Basically, the whole campaign was like that. The atmosphere at the campaign workshop itself was very relaxed. The facilitators were very approachable when it comes to answering questions in group activities.
Among the activities at the workshop was choosing 6 out of 25 people to inhabit this new world after the current world ends in 2012. LOL. Also, we had to draft a constitution for the new world. Almost every group had an opportunity to present their ideas - good, because interaction is the utmost importance for law students. :)

I think the campaign really convinced me. Being a skeptic myself, I lack faith in the country's constitution. I went in with the mentality that having a new federal constitution would be extremely pointless. However I came out feeling slightly different. So, here's to all of you - The constitution may have been amended several hundred times. We should not lose faith in the country's Federal Constitution. Instead, we should learn to take ownership of it. I used to think that only politicians and Bar Council members were the ones who should bother (see, I'm stereotyping again!). The campaign has thought me that everyone, from leaders to students to farmers and fishermen should be aware of the constitution. It is essential for us to know our rights, regardless of where we stand in the society. We should not disregard the several hundred amendments, but we should realise that the power to amend should NOT be abused ever again.

And......... The theme of our legal newsletter will revolve around Basic Constitutional Rights. See, the campaign really worked on all of us! =)

7th December 2009 - Legal Skills Presentation + First time spending an entire afternoon at Starbucks finishing an assignment + Japanese Dinner with a fraction of the cohorts.

Every group presented their ideas well. I'm so glad the presentations are over. It took up some of our time. Nonetheless, everyone's hard work paid off. Got to learn about alot of new topics. :) In my humble opinion, Daniel's group had the most controversial topic - The Rights of Muslim Women. Samuel's group had the most interesting topic - Stereotypes. Theirs provided the most comic relief. My group presented on Cults, a pretty controversial topic itself. Vivian's group, on Children's Rights was the most organised.

Nick, Daniel and I headed to Starbucks after the presentation to get our Criminal assignments done. I must say, it was indeed a productive evening. I got my Criminal written work done (bar footnotes - I SHALL NOT LET YOU RAIN ON MY PARADE). Starbucks is a good place to do work, I must say. It makes Taylors' library look like a wet market. LOL. Java Chip Frappucino for the win yo! :)

Headed to Sakae Sushi @ Subang Parade for dinner with Nick and Daniel. Samantha, Syamil, Sze Chuin and Samuel joined us there. It was good having dinner with classmates. We should do it some other time for some BAK KUT TEH! Oops, sorry Syamil :)

9th & 10th December 2009 - Submitted all the non-assessed written work.

As I was saying, assignments really drained the life out of me. It was really satisfying to drop all my written work into the submission box. Having done that, it was FREEEEDOM! Right now I'll just sit back and enjoy my holidays. The results for the written work can wait. Oh did I mention, we have a GPL assessment to be done online before Christmas? Sucha spoiler. :(

10th December 2009 - Garden Party at Aida's + Ladies' Night @ MOS.

Fun evening. It was indeed a good way to kickstart the holidays. Everyone (minus a few) turned up for the class party. Food was good, especially the Kueh Batik. We even celebrated all the November and December babies' birthday. Happy birthday to all! :) Aida's mum can really cook! Oh, here's what you get when you have football video games and boys - RECIPE OF DOOM. Hahaha. I was once guilty of that, but still. Boys will always be boys :) There was also a karaoke session when all the cohorts were singing along. I quote Daniel, "Gotta turn down the treble wey!"

Ladies' Night was interesting. Clubbin cherry has been popped. Clubbin cherry, not other cherry! No longer a MOS virgin. I must say, clubbing's just okay. It's good to go once in a while. I enjoyed the dancing bit. Good way to blow off some steam. My legs still hurt from Ladies' Night. The lighting and music really left my eyes blurry and ears ringing. The music that night was pretty good. Never thought I'd be dancing my shoes off to songs like Use Somebody or Smells Like Teen Spirit. Oh, best was still Hotel Room Service and Patron Tequilla. Viv and I were going all out. Hahaha! Aida on the other hand claimed she couldn't shake shake to such music. Samuel claimed the music was not 'black' enough for Aida. HAHAH.
I remember myself saying this before, that I'd rather go to a bar than a club. This still stands. Audrey Lim's not the best party animal around.

Next stop, SINGAPOREEEE with Joanne and Yi Ming :D Yes there will be some partying there too. Still don't know if we're going for the Siloso Beach Party. Oh well.

11th December 2009 - Campus Tour of Taylors Lakeside Campus and Christmas Party at Trinity Home

Who says there ain't no such thing as a free lunch hmm? :) Well, not always, but I gotta say, I had free food the whole of 11th December. Not the tastiest food around, but heck, at least it's free. Yes, Taylors has made me more Chinese. Honestly, I don't think the Lakeside Campus is that great. First of all, it is not as good as the artists' impression. Nowhere near. Also, the place is not fully completed. I still think we should only move there once it is completed. Imagine studying there with all the construction work is going on. Also, the location is pretty remote. Nearest eatery is 5 minutes drive away. Sad innit. Very limited parking lots, so how the heck am I gonna get there next time. I don't wanna take a shuttle bus from Taylors cause I like travelling at my own pace. Also, the lake isn't blue. It's green from all the chemical waste.

On the other hand, there are some plus points. There's a Mac Lab. A whole computer lab full of pretty Mac Computers. To make things better, the walls in that room are white. Gives you the feeling of heaven walking on earth! I swear Viv, Ash and I were in awe of the Mac Lab. The Moot Court is quite grand, I must say. I'll be helping out from the 18th to 20th this month with Viv, Ash and Aida. So, come visit? I'll bring you around. On second thought, PLEASE VISIT? :) Just afraid that I might just die of boredom.

Trinity Home is an orphanage for homeless children from the age of ten to fifteen. The kids were really friendly. It was really good to see them so happy. We played games with them. Really made me want to be a kid again, no joke. Oh, there's one of the boys who is an Arsenal fan. Didn't take a picture of him. The food was okay I guess. Free food, I can't complain about that, can I? Had to leave early because my mum wanted me home =( Didn't get to stay for the Christmas carols.

12th December 2009 - First day of the holidays.

Fun is yet to come, but I can't have too much fun because the mock test is in three weeks. :( Arsenal v Liverpool tomorrow. Seems as though it is battle of the fallen. Grarr!

Here's to what's yet to come. :) Cheers everybody!

<3

New Moon.

2009-12-03T05:17:00.000-08:00

The romantic scenes were far too romantic for my liking. 0.o I swear I was about to die. At some point I was telling my friend "DAMN IT. JUST KISS HER LA", "I'm about to puke" or "Damn jiwang laaaa".
Not only was it slow, it was SAAAAAAAAD. =(

The best part of the show was the 5 half-naked werewolves. Kristen Stewart is lucky. She gets to be in the scene with 5 half-naked and buff men. Yes, bimbo moment. Jacob doesn't have a six-pack. He has an EIGHT-pack! Eight. Lapan. 8 =) Eh, I actually counted. Gottta give me props for that I'm telling you.

Bella's a stupid cow. Seriously. I don't understand her character.
If she doesn't want Jacob, let ME have him, alright? I appreciate art and beautiful things. Not shiny sparkly vampires. Pfft. Anyone can appreciate sparkly diamonds. So why not sell it. You can't sell an eight-pack away ;)

Alice, on the other hand is AWESOME. I'm just drawn to her character.
As for Carlisle Cullen, he may have only 2 scenes in this movie but I can't help but keep my eyes glued on him. The way he speaks and the way he stares. Holy cowwww =) Imagine having Carlisle as your doctor. I'm sure you'd find every reason to injure yourself so he could treat you what not. ;)

Overall, 5/10. Wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Certainly wasn't good. Sorry all New Moon fans. =) 5 points coming from Alice, the werewolf pack, Carlisle Cullen and the soundtrack. Indie music, mate. I can't help but give 2 points to that.

"Now we're running through the fire when there's nothing left to save"

2009-12-02T06:15:00.001-08:00

I wish money could come out everytime I pee.

Epic, no?

2009-12-01T04:00:00.000-08:00

Joanne Ong Kings of Leon - Sex on Fire. What does it mean? Your coochie is on fire? How is that appealing? A burnt crotch? Good song to jam on Guitar Hero 5 tho :p

Facebook. Awesome.
But Joanne Ong is more legendary :) Honestly, it did not cross my mind when I first listened to Kings of Leon's Sex on Fire. Oh well. I'm just slow. "Need to beat"- Kumar the Drag Queen.

When I'm going down don't worry about me.

2009-11-30T05:17:00.000-08:00

Warning: Volcano Erupting. Please leave if you do not wish to suffer the aftermath.

AUDREY LIM'S MONDAY RAGE LIST.

1) Darn you, Didier Drogba. I sure did start my day with a bang. Though both your goals were superb and I couldn't help but applaud you, I still hate you.

2) What the hell were you thinking, Vermaelaen??! God. First Diaby, now you. You're both diaBALDical. Get it? -.-

3) I miss you, Van Persie. Once again, I'd like to say FUCK INTERNATIONAL MATCHES. I mean it.

4) Chelsea is going to win the Premier League. Arsenal looked vastly inferior last night. Especially in their defence and goalkeeping. =(

5) Sleep-deprivation. Refer to points 1), 2), 3) and 4). Stayed up up to 2.30.

6) As a result of 5), I am a total nuisance on the road. Reflexes fail, I can't count how many times where an accident could've happened..

7) Referring to 6), some motorcyclist gave me the middle finger and followed me just to show me another middle finger. Seriously. Even if I start raging at bastards who piss me off on the road, I won't take that much effort to give the second middle finger okay!

8) Car almost got hit by a few idiots at the Kemajuan roundabout. I swear I signalled okay. @$#%@#$%@#$%

9) I regret not buying more of Body Shop's body wash when they were having a promotion just outside Taylors a few weeks ago. Only bought on, not for myself though. It was only RM10, usual price RM24.90. Pffft. The body wash at home smells like toilet detergent. Eff Tesco products, seriously.

10) You're wondering, why the big fuss over points 1) to 10)? I feel worse than a pregnant woman okay. I can't count how many Pink Panadols I've popped over the past three days. Mum thinks I'll curse my future husband when I'm pregnant with his child. Sorry mum, you're not getting any grandchildren from me. Please force Arnie to get married and make sure your future daughter-in-law does not suffer as much as me at THAT time of the month.

11) I've given up in understanding men. Who knows, might just turn lesbian or exile myself to a nunnery. Shave my head bald and become a vegetarian. Sounds awesome innit?

On a brighter note, I'm done with all tutorials for this week. =)

12) Handed in the Tort Written Work. Did everything but the 1.5 spacing. SHIIIIITTERBUGGERRRR! Now I'm going to get my marks cut for my own negligent act. *Insert explicit words here*

13) There's still Contract, GPL and Criminal work due on the 9th and 10th this month.
*Insert more explicit words here*

14) And I'm wasting my time here.

15) I need a wake up call. So does Arsenal. Urgh. Java Chip Frappucino would come in VERY handy at this time. Imma be broke before this weekend comes =(

On a brighter note, I'm done with Tutorials for the rest of the week. Lovely!
I guess this pretty much sums up this Monday's rage list. Thank you for reading.

"I'm through accepting limits cause someone says they're so. Some things I cannot change, but till I try, I'll never know! "

2009-11-23T06:47:00.000-08:00

Sometimes, don't you just wish that all the pain could go away with the snap of your fingers?
Sometimes, don't you just wish that you could get anything you want with the snap of your fingers?
Sometimes, don't you just wish that you could undo all the hurt with the snap of your fingers?

I know I do.

2009-11-22T07:14:00.000-08:00

Screw it. I'm better than that. :-)

Had my exercise today, after 2 weeks of eating and bumming. Felt great, really. Less lethargic.

Anyway, exercise is good. It makes you happy. Works better than chocolates. :D

Bedtime.

Taaa =)

Invisible

2009-11-21T18:13:00.000-08:00

Okay, you actually give a shit. If you're wondering why I made it 'invisible', it's not because I'm some chicken. It's just another way of saying "you don't know what you're getting yourself into".

Somehow I wonder why I let little things piss me off.

Funny, isn't it. It's amazing how you know that some IDIOTS are not worth your time, yet you still get annoyed by them. Without a doubt, they are irresponsible shitheads who lack courtesy. To cut it short, they're just street-fuckin-stupid although they may be book-fuckin-smart. I don't understand how some idiots take ages to return something they borrowed. It's just ridiculous, seriously.

If you no longer have it, why don't you fuckin say so?

It's not how valuable that thing is, it's out of courtesy that you fucking return it. For crying out loud, did your parents ever teach you courtesy? I suppose not. I'm not surprised if you learned manners from the movies. On second thought, you lack manners too.

Screw you, really. You piss me off. BIG TIME. I'm so glad I chose to have nothing to do with you. EVER. I always wonder how you'd deal with your future boss in the future.

"Where's my fucking file?"
"Oh, it's on the way..."

3 hrs later..

"Where is my fucking file?"
"I have to look for it?"
"You mean to say that you didn't look for it earlier?"
"Uhhh..... Well I sort of did, but I got carried away"
"You're fucking fired man. Pack your shit and leave you son of a bitch"

Hahaha. Who knows, that might just happen to you, SUCKER.
None of you might understand. Most of you would probably think, just let the bastard keep it. Well, if I let the moron keep it, that means I have to spend some money and wait 93845923845938495 years to claim my money from the retard. Hell to the fucking NO.

You should just be a diplomat, seriously. You can conveniently come up with excuses. I suppose the only person who won't buy your excuses is me. So yeah. You can fool the rest of the world but not me.

Pffft. PMS BITCH. I hate being a woman.

Oh, some Pak Haji with a songkok showed me a middle finger when I cut into his lane. I'd like to think it's his pointer finger, but what the hell. It really was the middle finger. Here I go stereotyping them, thinking that people like them would not know what the middle finger means. Looks like they too have been enlightened by the wonders of mass media. ;)

Arsenal lost. To SUNDER-FUCKING-LAND!
Oh for crying out loud. If they pull anything miserable like this, I might just shave my head and exile myself to a nunnery where they may just force me to become a vegetarian and preach to me until I start believing again.
Yeah, you wish.

Wish I downloaded all my tv series this week.

Nineteen

2009-11-19T05:24:00.000-08:00

So I'm nineteen. :) Though I wish I could still be 18.

After nineteen years of it being a holiday on my birthday, I had to work on an assignment this year. Not complaining. Just gotta face it that it's LAW, man! Law!

Ash and Angel treated Vivian and I lunch at Allegro's today. Thank you so very much, you two. Not to forget the rest of you who came along - Li An, Sze Chuin, Yao Huang, Daniel, Samuel, Nicholas and Xin Qian. Oh, just so you know, Viv's is on the 22nd. :D We should start exchanging presents from now on ;)

Thank you, everyone who wished me on Facebook. Or should I say thank you, Facebook Birthday Reminder? Hahaha. I'm only kidding, you know that. It's the thought that counts, essentially. Thank you to the October 2009 Cohorts who sang for me. For a while I felt a little shy, but I enjoyed it very much. You people are the sweetest bunch ever. This oh-so-auspicious day would've sucked if it wasn't for all of you. :)

Oh, mummy and daddy almost forgot. Hahahaha. Well, as I get older, they get older too. With age comes the loss of memory. Ooops , once again, I'm only kidding! Love you mummy and daddy. Thanks, mum for replenishing my supply of perfume. Oh, not to forget, Arnie :) Thank you for the lovely birthday present. I LOVE ALL OF YOU UNTIL MY DYING BREATH. I am an epic failure sometimes, but this epic fail will never stop loving all of you. ;)

The picture speaks for itself. :)

Oh and here's something for you. I got 'saman' today. I know. The only day when I didn't pay the usual RM4 for roadside parking. Instead I paid RM1.10. Technically I had to get a new ticket by 9.45 a.m. if I were to continue parking there. Sadly, I couldn't be bothered to do so. As a result, a RM40 saman ticket was issued. How wonderful -.-'

Anyway, have I ever mentioned?
THE OCTOBER 2009 COHORTS ROCK. :D

Just a fraction of us today, with nothing better to do. ;)

"I loved you with the fire red, now it's turning blue"

2009-11-16T06:33:00.000-08:00

Speak to me, when all you got to keep is strong 
Move along, move along like I know you do 
And even when your hope is gone 
Move along, move along just to make it through.


"I am Super-Effing-Woman. I will make it through"

We can finally say we're through.

2009-11-13T21:43:00.000-08:00

A FEW THINGS THAT MADE MY DAY.

- Iylia told me she'll be back this December!! :)

- There's a Nike billboard along the LDP on the way to Taman Tun with Fabregas on it.

- Jo the 'HO is coming back in December as well.

Iylia

I really can't wait, babe. You owe me stories when you get back. You really do. Susah laaaa your Skype is always on tapi tak reply pon!! 0.o
Logging in to Facebook in the morning has never been this great. =) I honestly thought you would be spending Christmas travelling around Europe or something. Hehee. We can lepak at Pyramid! Or Mid Valley. After all I've got MORE competent in terms of my driving skills. Cehhhh. Oh and when you come back, please try to fit my Fabby in your luggage? ;)

Fabregas Billboard.

This Nike billboard made me happy. It was pure genius. There was so many Fabregases on it. He was wearing the white Arsenal jersey. You know how happy I get when I see my gunner boy in WHITE =) OH THE SEXY. Since I haven't driven on the LDP in AGES, that was really a good comeback. Speaking of Fabregas, he'll be in action tonight! :)

I would post up a picture of it, IF I took it. My bro refused to take a picture of it - he's afraid that other drivers on the road would think he's gay! WTF bro.

Hahaha I would go on raving about Fabregas, but I guess you people are sick of everything Fabregas.

Joanne

WOMAAAAAAAAAN. We'll hit Singapore for New Years' Eve together. You, however got to promise you'll be my sober Maori friend. =) Haha!! And yes, this time I'll take you to PYRAMID to shop. :)

A FEW THINGS THAT AREN'T MAKING MY DAY.

- Law

- Parliament Report

- Club stuff.

Law

Have I ever mentioned? Law notes are the epitome of tedium. Contract law makes me feel dull after I do it. Like Cecily (You Literature people should know) who feels that she looks rather plain after her German lesson, I feel I look rather plain after doing Contract. Tort gets me excited, a little too excited I must say. English Legal System's kinda dry. Don't even get me started on Legal Skills, please. Least studying required but it's quite a pain.
Tort and Crime written work is due in two weeks time. Not to mention, I haven't found the time to prepare for my Tort and Crime tutorials next week. What the eff am I doing here blogging? Stress lahhhhh. 0.o

Parliament Report

Oh before I get to that, the Parliament trip was not only enlightening, it was quite entertaining. Yes, some of you may ask how the eff can Parliament be interesting. Of course, the only reason why it was interesting is because we got to see a FIGHT :DD Woohoo. Syamil says that he doesn't mind being elected so he can witness the drama everyday. LOL. We managed to see Lim Kit Siang, Karpal Singh and Nurul Izzah Anwar at Parliament. Cool, innit. As for the government side we managed to see Nazri Aziz. Apparently, Anwar Ibrahim left when we came. :(

So, once again I have to write the report. For some godforsaken reason, I'm having some sort of writer's block. Can't effing structure my sentences right. Grarrrr.

Club Stuff

The research work is taking its toll on me now, looking at how much OTHER work I have. But hey, I'm not complaining. Just saying that it's clearly not going to make my day.

Having said that, I shall try to get everything done a.s.a.p. :(
Riiight. I took 20 minutes to write all these. Mum would've probably said that I could've written that report or got some notes done within that 20 minutes, but what the eff.

"We only got 86400 seconds in a day to turn it all around or throw it all away"

The Weekly Quickie.

2009-11-06T04:04:00.000-08:00

Ohh hey. Just a quickie. :)
Haha that sounded a little kinky, didn't it?

Update for this week.

Audrey Lim Chia Tchi no longer takes the bus to Taylors.

- You really don't know how happy I am, as I'm typing this out.
- I no longer have to wake up at 5.45 a.m and rush to catch the 7 a.m bus.
- I can go home any time I like. Seriously, I feel more liberated. I hate the thought of missing the bus lingering in my head. For instance, finishing class at 2.30 p.m. Since the bus only comes at 2.10 p.m or 4.10 p.m, I have to take the second bus. Heck, less than one and a half hours to get things done. It really isn't enough, in my honest opinion. So yeah. I've got other reasons, but what the heck. My point is, I'm so delighted to be driving myself there or hitching a ride from Eeshwer on some days. :)
- The only problem is that there's always a traffic jam, hence it eats up my petrol. EFF. :(
It was announced on Tuesday that we will be visiting Parliament next week.

- I'm really excited about it!
- Part of me can't help but wonder what will happen if a fight breaks out in the session we are attending.
- Oh, and everyone has to be formally dressed. Dayummmmn, I can't wait to see all of our male cohorts in formal wear ;) Yummaaay.
- That makes us females too. We've got to wear shoes that cover our toes. Damn it. I don't have any heels that cover my toes. :(
Played pool after so long

- Dragged my classmate along.
- Yes, I still suck at it, but I felt satisfied playing.
- Still a little stressed though.
Arsenal beat AZ Alkmaar 4-1.

- The husband scored two goals. The second goal being the feast for the eyes of Arsenal fans.
- Samir Nasri had a good comeback
- It was Diaby's best game, apparently.
- Arshavin contributed alot to the victory...
- I LOVE MY GUNNER BOYS.
Had a great time in Law School

- All the laughter and lame jokes from the people around, how can I not be happy? =)

"We live and we learn to take one step at a time"

2009-11-02T04:27:00.000-08:00

I don't know why I find myself reading Le Love.

Damn it, I might just see myself becoming part of Hopeless Romantic Anonymous.

The irony, I shouldn't be one, after everything that's happened. -.-'

Would you rather be a widow or a divorcee?

2009-10-31T22:02:00.000-07:00

Updates? Yeah, I have a few.

Over the past week I

Have been swamped with work.

- Oh wait, that's nothing new.
Went for a field trip with fellow Law School Buddies to PWTC for the Criminalise War exhibition and War Crimes Commission Hearings.

- This is a petition to support the cause to criminalise war. Since we only went for one day, we managed to listen too testimonies of War Crimes Victims. These include Detainees from Guantanamo Bay and Victims of Iraq. Since we only arrived at 2pm, all we had left were the testimonies of the victims of Iraq.

- Oh did I mention, there was an International Exhibition about the War Crimes in Iraq? The highlights include various forms of Water Torture, Torture Chambers/Equipment, the Abu Ghraib Prison, Haditha Massacre, Electric Shock torture and many exhibits. No doubt it was morbid and at some times mentally disturbing.

- I suppose most people have changed their perceptions on the Americans after looking at how badly the victims of Iraq were tortured.

- The testimonies of the victims of Iraq were particularly moving. One of the female victims was there to testify. When the counsel read out her statutory declaration, I swear we cannot help but emphatize on the plight of her situation. I personally think that none of us are able to relate to the torturous process she endured.

- Very 'fortunately', I have to prepare an article on the trip. -.-'

- Oh and a million thank yous to Vivian for organising this trip. You did a goooood job :)
Attended the Young Lawyers talk by the Kuala Lumpur Bar Council

- It was very informative, especially since we are first year law students. We were divided into three groups to discuss matters such as internships, expectations of the legal profession, drafting a curriculum vitae and the differences between CLP and BVC. I must say, I want to do my BVC. Nonetheless, I feel that I did not piss away my Saturday morning to attend this talk. =)
Watched The Time Traveller's Wife with a fraction of my Law School buddies.

- The book was better, without a doubt. The movie itself was good. Rachel Macadams did a good job in portraying her role as the time traveller's wife. I suppose the audience can't help but feel for Clare's pain - when she had to deal with Henry being unable to control his genetic disability leading to her being alone on numerous occassions and her unconditional love for Henry in spite of what he had caused her to put up with. Likewise, the audience would probably can't help but pity Henry - him being unable to control time travelling and how sorry he feels for not being able to change what happens in the past in spite of him being able to travel to the future.

- The whole time travelling thing is highly fictional but I suppose it's meant to be. Good movie, nonetheless. I still wish they did not change the ending. Pfffft.

- Big thank you to Ash for booking the tickets. =)
Have been impressed by Arsenal's performance.

- Our youth team (along with some recovering first teamers) defeated Liverpool's first team 'rejects' in the Carling Cup. Ooops, I'm sorry. They are rejects for a reason. Final Score, 2-1 with goals from Fran Merida and Nicholas Bendtner. Watching Merida's goal was like watching a gun fire a bullet. Okay, random. You got to give credit to Insua for that stunning equaliser though. 25 yards in. Grarrrr.

- And against Tottenham for premier league action! Final score 3-0. Goals from Robin Van Persie and Cesc Fabregas. I STILL think that Van Persie shouldn't have been subbed. He could've got a hattrick against them Sp*rs. Kudos to FABREGAS for being the ultimate playmaker! *applause*

- I suppose there's still hope for the Gunners. COME ON YOU GUNNERS!!

Oh well. It's just the beginning, and it's only life.

Now back to work. :( Law notes are the epitome of tedium.

"Yeah, look at us man, this doesn't need to be the end."
-Rob Thomas, Ever The Same.

Paint the town and shut it down.

2009-10-23T01:27:00.000-07:00

"We only know how to play one way and it would be treason to abandon our style of play."
Cesc Fabregas on Arsenal's style of play."

Amazing insights from our dear captain. (:

You made my day, Cescie. You really did.

Now on to make Tort Law love me. Talk about tedium doing law notes and finding cases to add in. Grarr.

Oh no. Maybe later. Grey's Anatomy and Glee just finished downloading.

Whaaat. I can't help myself. Been entertainment deprived for five days.

Just wait for me, Tortilla. =) Oh, I did not forget you, Contract, Criminal and English Legal System. May not have a name for you yet, but that doesn't mean I don't love you. :)

Geek much. -.-'

Tribute.

2009-10-22T00:51:00.000-07:00

Fuck you, you fucking liar.

I puked a little in my mouth thinking that I actually believed you have changed. Maybe you did, into a fucking monster who blabs bullshit out. Oh, did I ever mention, I'M ALLERGIC TO BULLSHIT. So take that and shove it up your ass. kthxbye.

The fact that you were seeing someone else when you came to me asking for a second chance. I can't believe you took SO much effort to lie. Haha, even I didn't have to go through this much hassle to escape from paying a summon.

A little slow on my part in finding that out.

Nonetheless, I know it's pathetic rambling about this on cyberspace, but I've long accepted the fact that I WAS PATHETIC TO HAVE LOVED YOU ALL ALONG, YOU LYING PIECE OF SHIT.

I forgave you once, but you screwed everything over, once again. I tried to forgive the unforgivable. It took a while, and a lot of courage. So I overlooked it

And if that was unforgivable, what is this? BEYOND UNFORGIVABLE.

All you could say was "Goodbye Audrey"

Fuckk you and all your immature bullshit. You always say there are better guys out there. Wanna know why? Because you sit at the bottom of the dump.

I was stupid to even fall for someone as low as you. I can't believe you stooped that low.

Very well then, GOODBYE TO YOU.

Stay the hell away. Oh, and if there's a reason why you're being hospitalized, that's because karma's a bitch.

I may have lost my religion, but I still have principles, unlike you.
My mind might be filled with a billion and one worries, but I can still think straight and not lie.
I think that God doesn't exist, so it only comes down to two things. It's the fact that 'Shit Happens' and the effects of karma.

Oh, and a little word of advice for you. WHAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND.

My mama would always say "Stay away from strangers."
I guess she forgot to add "Stay away from liars and bullshitters."

LIAR LIAR PANTS ON FIRE.

Decode

2009-10-18T06:13:00.000-07:00

The truth is hiding in your eyes
And its hanging on your tongue
Just boiling in my blood,
But you think that I can't see
What kind of man that you are
If you're a man at all
Well, I will figure this one out on my own
I'm screaming "I love you so..."
But my thoughts you can't decode

How did we get here?
I use to know you so well
How did we get here?
Well, I think I know

Do you see what we've done?
We're gonna make such fools of ourselves

There is something that I see in you
It might kill me I want it to be true.

2009-10-16T19:37:00.000-07:00

A million and one thoughts in my head.
These thoughts intertwine, and now I wonder,
Where are we?

2009-10-13T01:04:00.000-07:00

How could you?

It's done.

2009-10-12T05:55:00.000-07:00

First online quiz and I am a few marks short of a perfect score.

Epic fail larh. :(

*DULAN FACE*.

Byebye.

A fraction of what I once believed.

2009-10-03T23:25:00.000-07:00

Image by deviantART.

In less than 24 hours I'll be writing a new chapter of my autobiography. The past four months has been a rollercoaster. So much has happened within this short time, the good and the bad, leaving me with so much emotional baggage. As the saying goes, "the higher you climb, the greater the fall". I've bid many goodbyes in the past four months and shed plenty of tears only to wipe them off. I've let not only my loved ones down, but myself. I've watched my hopes vanish into thin air, only to realize that it's time to go with the flow - It's wiser not to rehearse it word for word. Instead, I shall be mentally prepared to make any ad-libs.

From an eagle's eye view, I can say that I don't know who this person was.

A new start or not, it is still the same journey. It's time.There are two primary choices in life: to accept conditions as they exist, or accept the responsibility for changing them.
- Denis Waitley

Vanity is the quicksand of reason.

2009-09-30T21:49:00.000-07:00

Daydreaming while driving made me take the wrong road back home....
But every cloud has its silver lining. I think.

Well, let me explain the route home from One Utama.

From the traffic lights, I turned left to get on the LDP. Passed through the toll and kept going straight. Little did I know I forgot to cut in to take the road going to Sungai Buloh. Instead, I took the road which heads to Kuantan/Ampang. For a while, the words "What the fuck" was on replay in my head. And I thought, "Oh cibai. What's gonna happen now? I don't know my way round Ampang or KUANTAN!"

I took a few deep breaths, trying my best not to hear my conscience say "OH SHIT!". At least my heart knows not to freak out. Up on the bridge, looking for the next signboard. Okay. So I was in Kepong first. Even then, I wasn't familiar with that part of Kepong. Kepong is huge, okay. That's what I get for calling it a 'jinjang' place, getting stuck there.

There were so many cars, which made it hard to switch lanes, if i had to. Trying to remain composed, I drove slowly and switched to the middle lane. Finally, I found the U-turn sign. FINALLY. I followed that road out. The road looked unfamiliar. Bloody hell.

Eventually, I found my way out and got on the right road home. Fifteen minutes felt like an hour being lost in some unfamiliar place. Now that I'm sitting her typing this, I'm thinking that at least I winded up in Kepong and not Ampang, let alone KUANTAN. -.-'

What I learned from this is that, there's always a way out. And it applies to anything in this world.
ALWAYS - only if you stop freaking out, because it won't be the end of the world.
It might be, if you start freaking out like an idiot. What's the point in going bizzare anyway? What do you get out of it? - NOTHING.
It's like quicksand, the more you struggle, the more you get stuck.

On the way back, I made damn sure that I cut into the right lane. Didn't want to end up in Sungai Buloh or Bukit Rahman Putra. Don't want to be living in daylight nightmare. The last time I ended up there, I had to deal with two cops for hitting the red lights. Didn't want to come up with the reason along the lines of "I'M IN A HURRY, I KINDA NEED TO SHIT". -.-'

"There's not much of a difference between a stadium full of cheering fans, and an angry crowd screaming abuse at you - they're both just making a lot of noise. How you take it is up to you." - Sue Sylvester, Glee Episode Four.

Maids.

2009-09-30T00:02:00.000-07:00

P/s : Author might just explode like a volcano.

Just why do we hire maids? I can give you a few reasons.

Because we're too busy.

- People who work have no time to do housework.
- People who work would rather not to housework, unless they find it therapeutic
- People like me find cleaning toilets a way to destress. ONLY toilets.
Because we're too lazy.

- This is probably the more reasonable reason, though nobody would like to admit.
- We don't want to get our fingers dirty or deal with dry skin from all that liquid detergent.
- Hence, the best we do is make our beds and sweep the floor in our room.

But right now, I can think of many reasons NOT to have a maid.

Scratch that. I'm just annoyed at my maid. Now I understand why Naomi Campbell threw a phone at her maid.

The many reasons why she did that.

Her maid could not take directions.
Her maid's probably just slow.
Fine I'll use the S-word. Her maid's just fucking STUPID.

Exhibit A : Audrey Lim. Soon to be university student. (Well, not really university, considering the place is Taylors). Lets just say, university student in a year. Typical teenager - loves listening to music, reading, watching movies or tv series. So, as she is in her room listening to super cool Cobra Starship, Kate Voegele, Paramore and Kings of Leon all with Windows Media Player and she logs in to Gmail and Twitter. Alongside that, she opens the BBC front page.

It all goes well, no interruptions from any of the family members. Oh wait. They were out. Then she thought she heard something that sounded like someone calling her. The sound was barely audible for the human ears. So she mutes the laptop.

Where's the sound coming from? The fucking door. God, even with the laptop muted, she could barely hear anything.

It was the fucking maid. Knocking on the door. AHAHAHA. Oh for fuck's sake, there's a reason why you KNOCK on the door and call someone when you need them. So, be sure to make a knock and speak up instead of knocking as if you're impoverished and sounding like a mouse that is almost dead. Oh, wait. A famished person can knock louder than that. Even if I'm sleeping or what not, just fucking knock lah. What do you think I am? A dolphin? The human ear can only hear above a certain decibel limit.

No logic, really. So what if my music is on? Just knock, goddamnit. Music's loud so you knock softer? Use your brains. So what if I'm on the phone? Knock so I can fucking hear it.

It's just stupid. Sorry. Used the S-word.

This is not the first time she's done it. No matter how many times I tell her , she doesn't get it. God. If she were working for Naomi Campbell, she would be dead by now. Not only for this reason, but many more.

And who knows, I may just do a Naomi Campbell on her.

Maid agencies should hire more sensible maids. Probably test their logic before they are hired. Urgh.

Cheers.

When the some comes up, I'll still be around.

2009-09-28T20:27:00.000-07:00

*jade. says:
omg
last night
i was in dota right
and i was like
fai
lets go clubbing 2mr
i wanna find chicks
and someone asked
lol why chicks
and i was like
cuz im tired of figuring guys out.
Audrey says:
HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAH
you wanna find chicks?!?!
*jade. says:
.... i didnt realise until later how bad that could've been
LOL YES.
im gonna explore my potential as a lesbian
HAHAHHAA
ok im kidding -_-

EPIC.
Guys. Such complicated creatures, yet they intrigue us - only to leave us exhilirated after much double thinking and getting ourselves frustrated. Just what is it all for anyway?

I want a male mind, can? Transgender brain, how cool will that be?

Imagine telling my parents...

Me : Mum, Dad, I wanna go for a sex change...

Mum and Dad : WHY?!

Me : No my brain needs a sex change, not me.

Mum and Dad : You must be taking the wrong medication.

Okay. That was all the Tuesday morning waffle you can get. A little high but feeling a little shitty too. Never in my life have I woke up to a tummy ache. Also, never in my life have I turned on the tv and the first thing I saw was my darling Cesc Fabregas warming up. Gotta love Astro 811. Man, with all the facial hair he has now, he looked like a little bear when he was jumping. =) Little, relative to the rest of the squad who are taller than him. Arshavin excluded.

Me love you long time, Cesc. You made my day - my morning at least. *snuggles*

AHAHAHAHA.

Enough waffling. Taa.

Now to Les Miserables?

Au revoir.
<3

P/s : Did I ever mention, COBRA STARSHIP IS THE BOMB. No effing joke. Gotta love their Hot Mess album. Hottest mess around. I kid you not.

You know that I could use somebody

2009-09-26T23:52:00.000-07:00

I was just giving my friend advice on how to handle his long distance relationship.

Honestly, I don't even know if what I said makes sense or what. Who the hell am I to give advice on relationships when I fucking fail at it.

Oh well, at least he never lies to his girlfriend, looking at the distance. He's also not a coward. He doesn't bullshit. That's the way.

The chords for Use Somebody by Kings of Leon are pretty easy, apart from the barring which is KILLING my fingers. Okay, not easy, but relatively easier than other songs. The song's beautiful, only I spoil it big time. *INSERT SWEAR WORD HERE*

No difference, I fuck everything up big time anyway.

P/s : Just ignore my ramblings, I'm reaching the breaking point.

On a brighter note, Singapore GP tonight. Hamilton's taking pole position. Nicole Scherzinger was so happy for her boo. Who wouldn't be? Vettel and Webber are taking 2nd and 4th position respectively. Come on Red Bull, we can kick ass at this street circuit.

A friend of mine is going to be at the race tonight. JEALOUS LAH.
But it's okay, I shall watch it on tv, and I shall NOT forget to turn on the air-conditioner. Hahahahaha. Not to forget, food. Goddamnit, I'm losing weight. Lost my damned appetite, only hell knows why.

Not to forget, the Gunners edged Fulham 1-0. It could've easily been 3-0, or more. Cesc wasn't having a good day and neither was Arshavin. Kudos to Robin Van Persie for the splendid goal! Round of applause, damn it.

Everything's so tangential in this post. Whatever.

Oh, The Time Traveller's Wife is a must-read book. So just take out some cash, go to the bookstore and buy the book.

AND WHY MUST BOOKS BE SO EXPENSIVE?!

How do you encourage people to read when books are so expensive? Reading E-books give a different feel from actually holding the book and flipping the pages.

I should stay away from bookshops. It seems that a new book is added to my shelf every week. There goes my money. =(

You just wasted a few precious of your life reading this. Thank you, goodbye. No free coffee or tea for you.

"If life was to be a movie, you'd be stripped off the cast list, regardless of what a good actor you have been"

<3

Gotta cut loose.

2009-09-26T03:37:00.000-07:00

Level of crazy - On the scale of 1 to 10, I'd say it's beyond 10.
And how epic is this? - BEYOND EPIC.

The rest of the pictures shall not be displayed to avoid embarassment. =)
I kinda miss being a kid. Miss those times when it doesn't hurt your ego when you act silly. Oh well, these days we are more concerned about being in control of ourselves, trying our best to refrain from doing silly things. At least that's what maturity is defined as these days. Too bad we can't help but feel insecure whenever we are unable to control ourselves as well as other people do. Or should I say as well as we THINK other people do.

I think she has uploaded some of it on Facebook. Only I can't see it, because I'm just too lazy to reactivate my account. I will, when the time comes. =)

Taa

<3

Iylia Felissa

2009-09-24T21:51:00.000-07:00

I met this girl on the first day of college. First impression was THIS GIRL IS DEFINITELY AN OVERACHIEVER.

True enough, she was. I mean, heck. She's charismatic, outspoken, and very perceptive.
From then, I thought that me and her are from two different worlds. I mean, why would someone like her, an intelligent student from one of the elite boarding schools in Malaysia even be close to someone like me, an average everyday student? I felt intimidated at first. I still remember myself stumbling upon my words while speaking to her, just in case I said the wrong thing.

We were not in the same induction group, neither were we in the same house or class. I suppose at that point in time we were just hi-bye friends. She hung out with other people and so did I.
I mean, heck. When I first saw her debate, she was good. Seriously, good. No doubt at all that she's a seasoned debater.

Whether we were close or not at first, I still respected this girl. In spite of all rumours people spreaded about her due to jealousy, I turned a deaf ear. It was one of the best decisions I ever made, because those rumours are so obviously false. She is a nice person. In fact, the word 'nice' is an understatement to describe her. I shall cut all the waffle and say, she's beautiful inside out.

This picture says one thing, she's beautiful on the outside.

Now to the inside. =)

She's a loyal person - be it a friend, daughter or girlfriend. No matter what happens, she will always stand by us and be of emotional support. If you need a shoulder to cry on, she's the one.

She's humble - We all know she's intelligent. There's no doubt about that. Though we don't share the same subjects, she helped me with math whenever I was unable to solve crazy P3 questions. Thank you so much, sayang. Unlike others, she does not gloat over her past achievements. :)

She loves unconditionally - Refer to first point. Aside her friends, her mum is always top priority. She sacrifices her leisure time so she can spend more time with her mum. That, is truly honourable. That makes her a perfect example to the three of us. Note the word perfect. In spite of all our flaws, she accepts us the way we are.

She does not indulge in superficiality - Still remember the conversation the four of us had until 3 a.m at the road behind our chalet? If it wasn't for that conversation, we would've been such fakers, although I personally believe that we are not, individually. It was her idea to have the talk. Thank God for that. She's a real woman, and only real women have the guts to stand up and (wo)MAN UP. After that day, our friendship was stronger than ever!

She can live on her own two feet - Yes, she is not complacent in spite of her level of intelligence. Although she produces good grades every now and then, she studies consistently everyday. In fact, she is the one who pushes us to study. Well, she pushes Dee and I mostly. Hahaha.

She's a whole lot of fun! - Camwhoring sessions, cafe chats and random gossips. Well, if it wasn't for her and Nantini, we wouldn't have many pictures of us tagged on Facebook. Aside that, the four of us would usually have dinner in the cafe at least once a week to exchange our opinions on different matters, be it personal or even political. Trust me, having conversations with this girl really stretches every muscle in your brain. Believe me, she has her profound ideas. Most importantly, she accepts our ideas. And that is what matters the most. [Whether our ideas really are profound, it's purely subjective].

She takes her stand - She is not fickle. She knows what she wants, she knows what she believes in and most importantly, she does not forget her principles. For her, you can compromise almost everything but your principles. That, is THE quality you should look for in a friend. Honestly, I'm glad to have found a someone like that.

Nonetheless, I have not regret having you as a friend. You have taught all of us to love and be loved, not in a selfish way. Your maturity has taught us how to look at the bigger picture and not harp on nonsensical things. Thank you Iylia. Just remember, although I'm 12 hours away by flight and probably god-knows-how-many-miles-away, I will be here for you. Don't forget our deal. Always keep in touch and don't forget to keep me informed on your list of potential boyfriends. Hahaha, among other things. =) I may not be the best person in giving advice, but I will try my best dear.

"We're like the different voices in music. Soprano, Alto, Tenor and Bass. forever complements one another. You miss a voice range, the song is NO LONGER whole." - Iylia Felissa.

All the best in Imperial College. Make your Chinese momma proud (yes, that's me) and of course, your real momma.

<3

Nantini Kaneson.

2009-09-15T00:10:00.000-07:00

Yet another jet sets off, this time to Birmingham.

Nantini Kaneson, but we all call her Vinthya, Vee or Baby Vee. =)

She entered college later than most of us, as Bank Negara had to delay the registration of their scholars. Me, being me, didn't even notice that they have already arrived until the whole batch was called to the RC that evening to collect our modified timetables. As I was walking, I saw Adina. Adina, on the other hand was walking along with this other girl. I didn't know who she was, but two possibilities came to my head : a senior or a new student. Adina introduced me to the new student. Her name was Nantini.

We got on quite well, judging by our first conversation. She was bubbly and talkative, which is good because I am not. I asked her if she wanted to go jogging for the evening, and she agreed to it. We went for our first jog together. It was fun because we could actually challenge one another's endurance. From then on, she became one of my jogging partners in the evening. Well, most evenings. =)

Although we were jogging partners, we weren't exactly close as friends. I hung around with other people, and so did she. One not-so-fine night when I felt weak, she was there for me. She gave the most profound advice, advice that not many people are capable of giving. Not only was I impressed, I felt touched. She promised me many things, and she never fails to fulfil it.

We (Diyana, Vee and I) had our first sleepover on Diyana's birthday. I still remember very vividly what we were talking about. Our type of guys, our families, things of the past, college, what to look forward do. Amazingly, there was no gossipping. With her around she sorta refrains us from gossipping, and it is good.

From then on, she, Iylia, Dee and I grew closer as friends. We hung out at the cafe alot, especially during break time and on fish nights. We even colour-coordinated our outfits at least once a week. Well, it was basically Vee's and Iylia's idea. One of the memorable moments was when we all wore white. I still remember Dr Foord passing by us and he said "Ohh, this looks like trouble". Another time was when the four of us wore Punjabi suits, and Dr Bano said with her thick indian accent "Ohh this makes me feel like I'm in India again". Of course, Vee provided the punjabi suits.

Fun aside, we share the same Mathematics, Economics, History, Moral and Malaysian studies class. History, at least before she dropped it to AS-level. Malaysian and Moral, at least before I had to switch blocks. When I felt lost in class, she helped me. When I felt clueless, she never hesitated to let me into her room, and times, she came to my room. Knowing me, I'm not the most discipline person, she helped to motivate me and kicked my ass (NOT LITERALLY) when I was not myself. This is what I admire most, she is not selfish to lend any assistance.

Not only is she smart and hardworking, she is one of the best dancers. =) For those who remember the Diwali Night celebration in 2008, she choreographed most of the dances. To me, Diwali Night in KYUEM was among one of the most outstanding events. All credit to the prima dancer herself. You've got to accept the fact that anyone would die to have killer dance moves like hers, especially for traditional Indian dance. The only dance I can do is my 'stripper dance', as coined my Miss Nantini Kaneson.

Adding to this, she cares about the 3 of us. I can tell that she cares alot. She always visits my chalet to see Dee and I and always suggests that we crash Iylia's chalet just to have our little girly talk. Whenever her mum sends her yummy yummy indian food, she will always share it with us. I shall never forget that little feast that we had in your room, my dear. Whenever one of us is sick, she'll always help us to bungkus food from the cafe.

There's just so many good qualities of this girl, it overwhelms her flaws. I shall not mention her flaws, because I'm not any superior. Nonetheless, thank you Vee for being such a wonderful friend, someone who is always genuine. I believe that is one of the most important qualities in a friend that anyone should seek. Thank you dear, for putting up with my moodswings whenever I feel like giving up everything. I was bitchy and moody at times, and I truly apologise for that. I'm sorry that I was not always good in giving you advice. So this is my promise to you. Even when you're all the way there, I will always listen to you no matter what. You can ramble/complain/rant to me, in spite of the 8 hour time difference. It's not THAT hard coming to terms with an 8 hour time difference, I suppose.

I've never regret living with you for 18 months.
Continue to be the wonderful person that you always are, for you truly are strong.
And please please makan more there okay, it's gonna be freezing.

Ps : Iylia, you will get yours, the day before you fly. Sabar tau.

Diyana Zuraimi.

2009-09-10T08:24:00.001-07:00

You're flying off tomorrow. I will miss you, so much Dee. SO, VERY, MUCH.

Still remember the story of how we met? Hahaha, it's an epic one.

14th January 2008, she was one of the six early ones who decided to move in way before this date, in spite of the college delaying our registration. As I was searching high and low for my chalet, I finally found it. The main door was already open, and there she stood, her hair adorned with purple highlights, sweeping the chalet floor. The first thought that came to my mind was "Oh okay, my future chaletmate is a clean freak." She turned out not to be one. Hahaha. The second thought was of course "Oooh, I've never seen anyone with purple hair before." By looking at her face, I knew she was a Chinese. I mean, sepet eyes, chubby face, yellow skin, how could that not be a Chinese girl? So we said hello and introduced ourselves. She said her name was Diyana. I thought it was spelled at Diana. Well, the only thing I could think of was that she's a chinese.

At the dining hall, for the first time experiencing the lovely KYUEM food, a bunch of us sat at the same table. It's perfectly normal, people of the same batch sitting at the same table, merely due to the fact that we are only familiar with ourselves. While introducing ourselves to our peers, we talked about our race. For example, Aina (Farah Raihanah) said she's a quarter chinese. I said that I'm a chinese, mixed somewhere along the lines. Diyana on the other hand shocked me. "I'm a pure malay." When we got back to the chalet I asked her if she was mix chinese at all. She insisted that she wasn't. It turns out that she thought that I was a malay.

Induction Week. We were in the same group, but we weren't close. I still remember one of the games on trust. Everyone had to be blindfolded while our facilitators tried to lure us to the wrong path. Fortunately we did not get lured at all. Our group leader was good. We didn't share our life secrets with each other during Johari Window. However, little did we know that we had plenty of Johari Window sessions later on.

Plenty of seniors mixed us up.

Oh look at this picture, Dee. Look at how much we evolved, not only physically but emotionally.

We started confiding in one another as time passed. Lots of secrets. She has always given me a crying shoulder whenever I needed one, this is of course reciprocated. =) She has always lend me her ears whenever I need to rant, even up until today.

I still remember our random conversations very clearly.
She's the one person who knows all my secrets and keeps them, no matter what.

Midnight birthday.

You're a lazy slob sometimes but you never fail to make me laugh.
You steal my food whenever I'm off for the weekend(s), but you let me eat yours all the time.
You share your secrets with me, and you keep mine.
You listen to me rant all the time.
You're always honest.
You sleep on my bed whenever I'm out of the chalet, but you let me sleep on yours as well.
You were there during (one of) the darkest hours of my life.
You are well off, but you know very well not to flaunt your wealth.
You are an overachiever (ahhaha), but you are always humble.
You're blur, but I love you the way you are.
You understand my jokes, in spite of your blur-ness.
When people knock you down, you stand tall no matter what. I am proud to have stood up for you many times.
We fought only once, and I'm glad history never repeated itself.
You say the most random things, but I still love listening to it.

Damn, you were heavy!

You always accompany me to the dining hall whenever I wanna eat dinner early.
You sit there with me eventhough I eat slow.
Whenever Hisyam is hanging out with the four of us, you never make us feel like 'lamp posts'.
Which is the reason why I'm rooting for you both to survive this long distance! And you will.
And you scare the shit outta me when you sing in the shower. But I would give anything to listen to your singing again. =\

This was an awesome day out with you and Jo.

You're so fun to have around. Remember that little sleepover at my place? We laughed until we decided that we didn't need to lose the extra flabs. Good times, good times.

Now that you're heading to Manchester, behave yourself okay? And pleeeaaaassse, I'm begging you, don't 'replace' me. [IT'S AN INSIDE JOKE. SHH]. You know you're gonna be fine there babe, more than fine. Wait till next year when I get to UK, we will smoke pot together. Naaah, I'm kidding.

Stay fun, stay cool, cause you're my GOOD TIME GIRL =)

Mwaaaaah , ME LOVE YOU LONG TIME.

<3

Tag, no one's it.

2009-09-04T06:32:00.000-07:00

For you, Jadey!

65 Questions You've Probably Never Been Asked...you know the rules. tag people in this note (including the person who tagged you!) to learn more about people. Also, try to tag people who you've tagged in other notes, sometimes you learn things in new notes that you didn't know before about them.......

1. First thing you wash in the shower?
- Face

2. What colour is your favourite hoodie?
- Black :D

3. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
- =)

4. Do you plan outfits?
- For important events of course.

5. How are you feeling RIGHT now?
- Slightly annoyed, frustrated and a teeny bit worried. Sigh...

6. Whats the closest thing to you that's red?
- My heart-shaped pillow.

7. Tell me about the last dream you remember having?
- Having coffee with somebody (couldn't see the face) on a windy Sunday morning.

8. Did you meet anybody new today?
- Do you count the waiters in the restaurant? HAHAH

9. What are you craving right now?
- Boxing gloves.

10. Do you floss?
- When there's something stuck in between the teeth

11. What comes to mind when I say cabbage?
- Green

12. Are you emotional?
- Yes :(

13. Have you ever counted to 1,000?
- 500 only

14. Do you bite into your ice cream or just lick it?
- Both :)

15. Do you like your hair?
- When it was longer :(

16. Do you like yourself?
- When I'm confident about myself

17. Would you go out to eat with George W. Bush?
- Obama please?

18. What are you listening to right now?
- My brother laughing

19. Are your parents strict?
- Yes.

20. Would you go sky diving?
- I'd love to.

21. Do you like cottage cheese?
- Errr I haven't tried it before.

22. Have you ever met a celebrity?
- Yes... Few Hong Kong celebrities and a few local ones. =\

23. Do you rent movies often?
- Nope I just get them from the dvd shop or watch it online

24. Is there anything sparkly in the room you're in?
- Errr my necklace? :D

25. How many countries have you visited?
- Put it this way, more than one hand can count.

26. Have you made a prank phone call?
- *ROFLMAO*.

27. Ever been on a train?
- Yuppo

28. Brown or white eggs?
- Doesn't really matter

29. Do you have a cell phone?
- Yes.

30. Do you use chapstick?
- Nope. Lip balm.

31. Do you own a gun?
- Hahah I can only dream

32. Can you use chop sticks?
- Yes?

33. Who are you going to be with tonight?
- Alone with the family.

34. Are you too forgiving?
- I guess.

35. Ever been in love?
- Hahahaha..... Why don't YOU answer it for me?

37. Ever have cream puffs?
- :) LOVELY

38. Last time you cried?
- Errrr 2 weeks ago. =) Most worth-it tears EVER.

39. What was the last question you asked?
- Where are you?

40. Favorite time of the year?
- Spring?

41. Do you have any tattoos?
- No thanks. Needles are scary

42. Are you sarcastic?
- I can be

43. Have you ever seen The Butterfly Effect?
- Errr no.

44. Have you ever walked into a wall?
- Yes. :(

45. Favorite colour?
- Black, blue or purple!

46. Have you ever slapped someone?
- Noope. Not that I can remember

47. Is your hair curly?
- It was, now it's back to being straight. Sigh

48. What was the last CD you bought?
- The Hangover!

49. Do looks matter?
- If your personality shines, I'd think you are awesome inside out.

50. Could you ever forgive a cheater?
- I haven't been cheated on. So I wouldn't know.

51. Is your phone bill sky high?
- Hahahaha. Dad?

52. Do you like your life right now?
- It's alright =)

53. Do you sleep with the TV on?
- When I happen to be watching a shit-ass movie in the living room

55. Do you have good vision?
- Power's around 400. You do the math.

56. Do you hate or dislike more than 3 people?
- I try not to

57. How often do you talk on the phone?
- Nowadays, not very often.

58. The last person you held hands with?
- =)

59. What are you wearing?
- Top, inside, bottom, inside

60. What is your favourite animal?
- Doggies <3

61. Where was your default picture taken?
- My room

62. Can you hula hoop?
- Yeaaaa. That was a long time ago

63. Do you have a job?
- I wish laaa.

64. What was the most recent thing you bought?
- Wax strips and waxing cream.

65. Have you ever crawled through a window?
- LOLOLOLOL.

You only get what you give.

2009-08-31T04:55:00.000-07:00

Listening to : New Radicals - You Only Get What You Give.
It's a good song, really.

I gotta feeling, that today was goooooood =)

Oh yes it was. The simplest (well, not really) things make me happy, without fail.
Why?

Baskin Robbins had 31% percent off their ice-cream.

-> It is on every 31st of the month. So we bought 4 flavours. 1 Quartz for Vanilla and 3 Pints for Rum Raisin, Cookies and Cream and Chocolate Royal Mousse. There was no Green Tea flavour by the time we got there. :( Nonetheless, I've got my hands on the Vanilla and Cookies and Cream. It was worth lining up.
Honey, I wish I could eat it with you but you're there mugging for your exam. >=(
Nevertheless, I'm a happy fatty! *BIG GRIN*
I got something from Zara.

-> I can never afford anything from there, especially when there's no sale. But this time there was. Managed to get a top for RM29.90. In my opinion, it was really value for money. Not only did I feel comfortable wearing it, it fits me perfectly - not too tight or too lose, not too low cut either. Plus it's PINK. Finally have something pink in my wardrobe. Not that I'm a pink-lover, but I'm so glad I have something PINK!
Went for a swim! I know, finally.

-> Haven't exercised in ages. Most of my evenings are spent sleeping or reading story books. Finally today I forced myself to get off my lazy arse and go for a swim. I can already feel myself releasing endorphins! Too bad, I'm not as fit as I used to be. Felt like a fat duck waddling in the swimming pool. It's a miracle I managed to finish ten laps. Usually it would be twenty, but what the heck. =)
Mum and Dad are asking me to sit for SAT.

-> It's good in a way. After all, I've got another month to kill, might as well put it to good use. It's for back-up, I suppose. Oh well. The website is gaying out on me now. :( They are apparently 'unable' to reserve a seat at the given test centre at the moment. How frustrating. Nonetheless, I wanna sit for it and see how far I'd fare in it. Oooh I just giggled. Sit for SAT. Geddit geddit? =D I know, these endorphins are making me LAME.
Everything else looks good for now.

-> College buddies are flying off to UK next month. Nonoooo, I don't want to get rid of you people. I just feel really happy for you people. I would join you guys, but well, refer to the previous post. As for him, we're doing goooood. Something to look forward to in 16 days. *wink wink*. Being subtle here. Parents aren't too naggy already. Thank goodness for that, really.

I'm a happy fatty. *whistles joyfully*.
Okay, gonna go back to my Dorian Gray. Yes, I know. Should've finished reading it in a day, but I love reading slowly. =)

<3

Whatevs.

2009-08-29T23:22:00.000-07:00

I would do a post-mortem on last night/this morning's match.

But now I'd say,
FUCK IT. Wait till you Devils come to the Emirates.

I hope Ferguson had a great time rejoicing in the win which WE helped them (albeit indirectly) as well as listening to the paedophile song directed to Wenger by Manchester United supporters.

FML.

The Road Not Taken.

2009-08-27T20:39:00.000-07:00

AUDREY IS BACK, FOR REAL.

I mean it. =)

Told you I wouldn't let my life go offtrack. What's going on actually? After the downfall, I came up with a plan - to join my bitch, Jo in New Zealand. Seriously, I laid down all the plans - Work for six months and fly next year. Jo and I even planned what we wanted to do there. Of course, the plan did not work out because my parents couldn't bare the fact that I will let my brain rot for six months (or so they say). Sorry, Jo. I will make it up to you. I actually applied to the University of Auckland to read Law/Arts. Parents didn't quite agree with it,because the course was four years long, and I only start next year, so that means I'll only graduate five years from now.

Next we explored Australia. I couldn't qualify for Commerce in Melbourne, and I did not want to look elsewhere. As for Law, there's no Law for undergraduates in Melbourne. Elsewhere in Australia, the LLB Law program is four years long and another year for Honours. Although you do get exemption from the CLP, it's six years from now until I graduate. Still, not a good idea for them. Hence we tried clearing. I called a whole list of UK universities, landed a few decent offers. Decent in the sense that those universities are recognised by the CLP. Took a day to deliberate, as there was not much time.

In the end, I decided to stay back in Malaysia for twinning. Yes, I have my reasons. The initial plan was Taylors, as their LLB Law program is linked directly to the University of Reading but HELP provided more choices. However, theirs is a transfer program. There's no guarantee. So, yes. I will be starting at Taylors in October. Have not decided whether I'll be doing 1+2 or 2+1. Nonetheless, I'm glad for this second chance - being able to take the road not taken earlier. Hopefully, next year or the year after next I'll be heading over to the University of Reading. It's pretty reputable for Law (although not as great as UCL, Kings or LSE), but there's a Bar Council there. Speaking of which, I have about less than two years to decide whether I want to sit for CLP or get my Bar done in UK. So many decisions to make. I'm really hoping I made the right decision, at least for now. Don't know if it'll be right for me, but as he always says "My theory is, you never know until you try". Right, you're on, my dear!

Oh well, I am officially a Taylor-ian and technically a student at the University of Reading. Apparently, I'll be getting my Taylors and Reading identification card during the orientation. Yes, we've paid for the deposit of RM500. The bloody costly DEPOSIT. Hot damn. I wonder whether it's the marketing strategy these days. Coming up with such high deposit payments so you won't change your mind later on. Nevertheless, I'm looking forward to the life in Taylors. No doubt, I never saw it coming. Had always hoped that I'll be having the time of my life in London, LSE to be specific. I guess we can never stick to our original plan. Hopefully next year when/if I fly I hope to be more refined. =)

Before I forget, to all my Muslim friends out there, SELAMAT BERPUASA. Yes, don't cheat eventhough you're that hungry okay? It's a test of your willpower. And for crying out loud, do invite me to come for your open house during Hari Raya!

I forgot to note. I wanna thank the person who introduced this song, Second Chances by Michelle Branch. Unfortunately, I can't remember who it is. :(

Sometimes we get second chances
And sometimes we never make it past the first
It really makes you wonder why somethings happen when they do
It really makes me wonder why it wasn't me instead of you

And when you say
It doesn't matter well it does
And all it takes
Is a mistake to eat your words
Just one more time I think I'll drive on home tonight

Sometimes we never see the warning
And the voice in your head tells you not to go
It really makes me wonder why somethings happen when they do
It really makes me wonder why it wasn't me instead of you

Now that I look back and reflect, this song truly helped me to recuperate. =)

Oh, is anyone looking forward to the 30th? Ooooh Old Trafford's gonna be on fire.

TWO BIG GUNS PLAYING. I can hardly wait, though I'm hoping something similar to last year's Champions League quarter final DOES NOT happen. As for Cesc, he may not play. Wenger, please do what's best.

Rawr. Bring on the Arshaaaa-vin! That, is my Russian husband.
....and the Van Persie..... That...is Alissa's, unfortunately.
.......Ooooh and the Wilshere. If Wenger assigns him in the starting line-up.

Now this is what you call an update. =)

-You make me feel things I never thought I could feel.
<3

EPIC .

2009-08-24T07:10:00.000-07:00

Audrey says:
hellooo niggaaaah!

Navin says:
excuuuusee meeee
how rude

Audrey says:
niggah, please
ur legal in 2 hrs

Navin says:
hahaha so?!
doesnt mean you can be ruuude

Audrey says:
hhahahahahaha i wasnt being rude
i said hello nigga.
not OI NIGGAA
xDD

Navin says:
nigga is a derogatory term derived from the despicable reference to coloured individuals of "negro"

Audrey says:
honey, fuck means copulate
but we say fuck like we say shit

Navin says:
hahaha fair enough

Audrey says:
likewise nigga,, it's like an affectionate term anyway ;D
instead of saying bro we say nigga ;D

Navin says:
its affectionate for black people towards black people
black to white or white to black or white to white or other colours is ruuuuudee

Audrey says:
hahahhaa i'm almost black
and so are you
hence it is affectionate xD

Navin says:
youre not black!

Audrey says:
im tanned

Navin says:
you are teh ais

Audrey says:
;D

Navin says:
i am kopi ais

Audrey says:
watafalo
watafak*
hahahhaha teh ais and kopi ais
cuuute

This made my day. HAHAHAHAHAH.

Shoutout.

2009-08-16T23:13:00.000-07:00

For anyone who miraculously noticed that this blog was gone for a few days, I'll take you out for a drink. =)

To those who could not find my facebook for the entire week (Tuesday to Sunday), thank you for your concern. But I know, most of your concern was regarding the R-word. No, I refuse to disclose the outcome of. I've established the fact that I will never be proud of it, and there's no other way of redemption. I've suffered through the consequences for the past week, but I'm glad to say now that I vow to get my life back on track. A promise is rather rare from me, but I shall not disappoint. (Have disappointed myself and my loved ones enough). Managed to clear my head. Jade's method really does work. LOL.

I'd like to thank the wonderful people who have been very supportive for the past week. Joanne, you called me all the way from New Zealand to give me the courage to open that results page. It did not turn out well, but if you weren't on the phone with me I would probably find the nearest cliff and jump off. Thank you so much, Jo. You're my wonderwall, as always. Thank you for suggesting the alternative, and I will try my best to make it there. =) We will be legendary, bitch. Jade, thanks for listening to me whine for the past week. You were there at the darkest hour of my life, listening to me whine about everything and anything that came crashing down. I love you dearie, and I WILL BE THERE FOR YOU. Diyana, you crack me up even during times like these. You never fail to make me laugh, even when my eyes are brimming with tears. Me love you long time although you love snakes long time. Iylia, I'm so happy for you. Thank you for being there for me, eventhough you could have been celebrating. Nantini, thanks for sending texts and calling. It was really caring of you. =) Faridq, Jeshua and Navin, thank you for your support. If I missed out anyone, don't kill me. Just want you all to know that you guys are delightful. If it wasn't for you people, I would have jumped off the highest cliff I could find in Sierramas.
I promise all of you that I will get my life back on track, it's all for you. =)

Most importantly, thank YOU. You've put up with my moodswings for the past week and I'm truly glad for everything that's happened. You told me to put up with you even when you are a bastard. Remember what I told you? You won't be a bastard to me, cause I'm not a bitch. You've assured me things will be fine, and I believe you. I did not believe you because I wanted to hear it from you, I believed you because I know you what you are capable of. Why would my Knight In Shining Whatever lie to me anyway. :) Don't you ever abandon me. =\ I'd go any distance for you. [Am turning into a hopeless romantic. Somebody please save me.]

Anyway, alot has been happening for the past week. One of which, my ex-collegemate, Azwan Arif got into an accident. I was not particularly close to him, only a hi-bye friend, but I'd like to express my concern nonetheless. Last I saw him was the weekend during MSLS, he looked perfectly fine. Honestly I was quite shocked when I heard the news about the unfortunate accident. Anyway, wake up Azwan. You've got a bright future ahead of you. Farrah has been holding up well, because she's just as strong as you. When I read her note the other day, I saw true love. So please wake up, Azwan. May God's healing hands be upon him. May He watch over Azwan and his loved ones (family and friends). Don't stop praying!

I've landed myself an overnight job at IKEA tomorrow night. 9pm to 7.30am the next day. RM8 per hour. It's time I get my lazy ass to do something productive. Among the things lined up for all the 'one-time' IKEA workers - Data Entry and Stock Counting. I'm hoping Navin gets the night shift too. Need some familiar company, darn it. Darn you, Jace. Why must you be in P.D? =\ But nevermind. There's always next time. Apart from that, I need to start job hunting soon. For the most obvious reason, money seems to be the only motivating factor in my life right now. Okay, this is me recovering from being bitter over the past week. Everyone needs some consolation, for crying out loud. -.-'

Oh and, all the best to Edexcel students who are getting their results on their 20th. =)

It's the pieces of the puzzle
Put together by mother natures hand
It's the prayer that has been answered
It's the gift of love raining down because
It's my heart touching yours
The story of us

I gotta feeling.

2009-08-07T02:39:00.000-07:00

Ever heard of this half an hour tv show on MTV, My Super Sweet Sixteen?

The show is basically about American teenagers who throw their sixteenth birthday, one that is in a great scale. Well, since their parents are the wealthy ones, they can afford to do so. Now you'd wonder, why bother watching the show? No, I didn't bother watching it, I stumbled upon it while flipping channnels. I suppose sixteen is the auspicious age there, similar to eighteen being the age in Malaysia. Or perhaps they undergo a rite of passage at that age.

Nearly everyone I know comments on the superficiality or triviality portrayed by the teenagers in the show. I'm not going to deny that, really, but neither am I going to find faults with that. Well, for most episodes, if it is a girl celebrating her sixteenth birthday, these are the things that they would ask for. A few (costly) dresses, a club for the venue, a car and other presents. A guy celebrating his sixteenth would ask for almost the same as the above, minus the dresses. At times, you can see them throwing their tantrums when they do not get what they want.

This has made me wonder, why are we only concerned about the obvious? Why do we neglect the profound for the frivolous? For instance, why is it important to throw a birthday on such a large scale, calling every Tom, Dick, and Harry to attend it? Fine, maybe that was exaggerating. Not only this, but this has led on my thoughts to different things. Why are we such materialists? Why do we value material wealth and possessions more than spiritual or intellectual things. Dad once said that we fret over almost everything - salary, standard of living and all things materialistic, but can we (or do we) even imagine what the less fortunate would say about the same thing? If we want more, the less fortunate would want more than we do. However, through logic thinking and the theory of reasoning, we are able to deduce that they do not ask for more. Infact, they could not ask for more because it's just the way it is in this capitalist world.

I bet if we film how children from less developed countries celebrate their 'sweet sixteenth' or sweet (whichever age is the coming of age), it will not be the same as the sixteenth birthday as seen on My Super Sweet Sixteen. Perhaps, there will be no footage at all. Or maybe they do not celebrate their coming of age at all, as it is just every other day for them, so why make it more special right?

My point is, there's more to life than a very sweet sugarcoated sixteenth. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that you should not make it a big celebration, it's your prerogative. However, to make the world revolve around it or making it a matter of life and death, I beg to differ. There are many other things your life can orbit around.

The author apologizes for not making it clear. It's a thing she's working on, to articulate her thoughts well. =\

Till then. <3

Caught in the undertow.

2009-08-05T07:34:00.000-07:00

I woke up this morning to see an envelope containing my username and password for the CIE results. FML.

At least it wasn't the real thing. And I didn't have to make a call to the college to check if they have posted it.

Today was all about getting things done. I got alot of things done. =) Things I wanted to do.

Session with the bitchy, check.
Driving bitchy with her trusting in my driving skills, check.
Buying a top that fits me perfectly, check.
Good food to go with it, check.
Little Britain to entertain us, check.
Watching Skins, as I had always wanted to, check.
Rushing to OU in order to buy mum's birthday present, check.
Knowing mum will like it, check.

It's more than just that actually.

Of course there are still alot of undone things.

Rearranging the clothes in my closet?
Sorting out the clothes that I don't want?
Mustering the courage to check my results online on the 10th of August? YET TO BE DONE.
Pay a visit to college? Still deciding...

Taa

<3

2009-07-31T07:48:00.000-07:00

Turn down the lights, turn down the bed
Turn down these voices inside my head
Lay down with me, tell me no lies
Just hold me close, don't patronize
Don't patronize me

'Cause I can't make you love me If you don't
You can't make your heart feel something it won't
Here in the dark in these final hours
I will lay down my heart, and I'll feel the power
But you won't, no you won't
And I can't make you love me
If you don't

I'll close my eyes and then I won't see
The love you do not feel, when you're holding me
Morning will come, and I'll do what's right
Just give me till then, to give up this fight
And I will give up this fight

And I can't make you love me if you don't
You can't make your heart feel something it won't
And here in the dark in these final hours
I will lay down my heart and I'll feel the power
But you won't, no, you won't
And I can't make you love me
If you don't

Ain't no use in you trying
It's no good for me baby without love
All my tears, all these years, everything I believed in

2009-07-30T09:18:00.001-07:00

I swear, I may just be on the verge of a emotional breakdown.
Shitbricks.

2009-07-30T09:18:00.000-07:00

I swear, I may just be on the verge of a emotional breakdown.
Shitbricks.

2009-07-30T04:18:00.000-07:00

I just found out that it is 1 week and 5 days to D-day. Well, I call it doomsday because I'm simply not confident. =\

The thought of not sleeping an entire night due to anxiety and putting a tissue box on standby is really, daunting. Right now, there are so many thoughts going through my head. So many 'what ifs'. God, I need to knock myself out, really.

I hate getting results. Period.

And, to all KYUEM-ians who are down with flu, drink lots of water and take your medication =)

To KYUEM-ians who came back positive for H1N1, please have a good rest. Of course, don't forget your medication and water.

Nostalgia.

2009-07-22T05:39:00.000-07:00

I still remember, very clearly, what I was doing at this day a year ago. Precisely, I was in college. Now that I think about it, I miss college alot. God knows why I'm feeling all nostalgic today.

I miss waking Dee and/or Nuryn up in the morning because they suck in getting up early.

I miss taking icy cold showers at 7.50 a.m

I miss practicing my 'effective time management' in the morning, (5minutes to shower, 5 minutes to get changed and 5 minutes to run to class.Yes, I brush my teeth before that -.-) that's when I'm running late.

I miss my toiletmate, Adina. NOOOO we don't bathe together. But she's the reason why our chalet survives.

I miss springcleaning with the chaletmates.

I miss the weird conversations Dee and I have when we are in the chalet with absolutely nothing to do.

I miss the moments before exam where everyone is so stressed out that we go bonkers.

I miss talking about boys with there chaletmates and other girls. HAHAHAH.

I miss eating shitty food in the dining hall. Yes, shitty but I miss it nonetheless.

I miss the dining hall atmosphere, to be precise.

I miss my batchmates, alot.

I miss the times when I go to other people's chalet to transfer Gossip Girl, 90210, Heroes, Grey's Anatomy, etc.

I miss the times when you people (you know who you are) come to my chalet for entertainment purposes. Refer to above statement :)

I miss the times when some of you come in the middle of the night for entertainment purposes. I still love you anyway. =]

I miss the times when I wake up to find my external gone. In other words, I miss you people taking it.

I miss those moments when the bestie and I talk on the phone and linger around the walkway at 2 a.m.

I miss those moments when the four of us will meet at the cafe during break time for a bite.

I miss the times when the bestie and I talk in codes. (Ie : Pirated, Original, Former, Latter, Dirty Mistress, Kayu).

I miss History lessons where Mr Brookes makes witty remarks on historical events.

I miss the extra History classes that Mr Brookes gives to us. God, he must've been so sick of seeing us.

I miss Literature lessons where Miss Linda never fails to say "Audrey, you're rubbish in punctuality".

I miss Literature lessons where Kash is always missing in action. :) It makes me feel better hahaha!

I miss my Literature tablemates Amelia, Suman and Farisha, well, before Miss Linda changed the arrangement.

I miss Literature class, period.

I miss Math classes where Mr Highton makes female jokes out of Mechanics.

I miss Math classes where Mr Highton is so helpful.

I miss Economics classes...

I miss running into class with a bottle of Red Bull, because I'm not a morning person.

I miss the resource centre, the place where I can get SOME work done, providing I sit with the right people.

I miss the upstairs section of the resource centre.

I miss the times where the four of us take lots and lots of pictures together.

I miss cleaning the chalet's toilet especially when I'm stressed.

I miss cleaning my own room.

I miss all the X-Rated talk. HAHAHA.

I miss the look on some people's face when I gave them cupcakes for the first time. =)

I miss the look on my chaletmate's face whenever I bring back something I help mum to bake.

I miss our chalet's busted airconditioner.

Damn it, I miss Chalet L-06, okay? :(

I miss the "No girls" sign at my chalet area. It never fails to amuse.

I miss the fact that my chaletmates and I always wake up late but we can always make it in time.

I miss watching Little Britain with Dee in my room.

I miss Dee suddenly coming into my room when I'm studying.

I miss going to the RC and looking at everyone having earphones stuffed in their ears.

I miss the evening when there are many people jogging. Feels good to see people around releasing endorphins.

I miss the times when I cannot find Dee's bed, beneath her mess.

I miss how my room looked like during trials. IT WAS A HUGE WRECK.

I miss you juniors, though some of you have probably forgotten me already.

I miss boarding school, period.

*
Who knew boarding school could do this to me.
I resented the fact that I entered KYUEM and not HELP. But heck, I think if I had gone to help, the list of things I miss wouldn't be as long as this. I had always told myself "it's only 18 months, so just hang in there". Yeah, time flies regardless of whether you want it to. It did not hit me, until now when I really miss the place. The fact that it was in Lembah Beringin, a very isolated place is a turn off, but the people made it fun. =) At least I think they did. Right now, I miss everybody and anybody. Yes, even Puan Rog. Miss her yelling during the last day of college. HAHAHAHHA. Sorry, but amusement is fairly subjective.

Nostalgia kills.

2009-07-21T08:17:00.000-07:00

WHAT IN THE WORLD IS WRONG WITH YOU?

2009-07-16T22:43:00.000-07:00

Nigga talk.

Malaysian Nigga = Migga
New Zealand Nigga = New Zigga
Chinese Nigga = Chigga
Nigerian Nigga = Nigga.

Thank you Jo.

2009-07-07T20:51:00.000-07:00

I've been listening to rap music. For the past effiing hour.

Damnit Jo, nigga domination is you.

Stripped.

2009-07-04T07:52:00.000-07:00

Just a random thought.

Ps : I beg to differ in giving my views on this.

Racism. / noun (disapproving)

1) The unfair treatment of people who belong to a different race; violent behavior towards them
2) The belief that some races of people are better than others.

Stereotype / verb
1) To form a fixed idea about a person or thing which may not be true.

Not pointing fingers at anyone.

Racism is bound to happen in any country, which probably explains the occurence of some civil wars in the past. A friend and I were having this conversation over the phone, the friend shall remain anonymous. We were talking about some people that we know, who have tendencies to insult other races. In this case, a Chinese stereotyping some Malays. He shall remain anonymous too. He associated scholarship holders (or elite Malays) with cronyism and corruption. I beg to differ. But one thing I know for sure, harmony or 'muhibah' is almost a fairytale ending in this country, although foreigners see our country as the country rich in diversity and harmony. Maybe it's the way we are brought up or our surroundings. Being a KYUEM student for 18 months has exposed me to different cultures. In KYUEM, people from different parts of Malaysia come to study, 90% of which are under scholarship. Heck, the majority of people there are Malays, but I've never complained. In fact, I'm glad to have met these people.

Back to racism, if a Chinese can associate elite Malays to cronyism and corruption, a Malay can link Chinese people to Communism. Just saying, not insinuating. Once again, I refuse to take my stance in this argument. Fair enough, China is a communist country. And Chinese people supposedly 'originate' from there. But heck, not all Chinese are born there. Then again, not all elite Malays are corrupted. Undoubtedly, they have their rights, but we are not able (or supposed) to question that. I mean, we've chosen to live in this country, so it's safer to play by the rules. We can go as far as bitching about it, but what is it all for?

What are we on to now? Stereotyping. Refer to definition, a fixed idea about something that may not be true. Ironic how this sentence has elements of both certainty and uncertainty. Fixed idea but a probability that it may not be true.

What I'm trying to prove here is that everyone is entitled to form their own judgements. Whether we do it if we know everything from head to toe, or if we know nothing at all, it's entirely up to us. It's our mind and our mouth. However, it's important to be aware that our actions are often reciprocated. For instance Chinese insults Malay. What makes you think the Malay cannot insult a Chinese person. Or Chinese insults Indian. Likewise, the feeling may be mutual. I'm not here to point out what is wrong or right. Just voicing out my opinion, on how things can be equally reciprocated and perhaps equally painful. Words said cannot be taken back. This applies to everything in life, not only racist tendencies or the act of stereotyping people.

Not everyone is guilty of racism, but I'm sure, everyone is guilty of stereotyping. No one can blame others for the way they are brought up. Most of the time, we see what we are taught to see. It's not easy to change our ways. I'm no saint myself, but I try my best to point this out and think about this matter from different angles.

That's about it. =)

Funny and err.... not so funny.

2009-07-01T01:33:00.000-07:00

RULES:
1. Put your iTunes, Windows Media Player, etc. on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS.
4. Tag 10 friends
5. Everyone tagged has to do the same thing.
6. Have Fun!

IF SOMEONE SAYS 'ARE YOU OKAY' YOU SAY?
-The Dream ft Gym Class Heroes - Cookie Jar.
"Come put my hands in the cookie jar. WHAT THE?"

HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF?
-John Mayer - Clarity.
I've got no comment.

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
-Rupee - Tempted To Touch.
*Faints*

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
-Keyshia Cole - I Remember
Sigh. I do. :( I always do.

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
-Babyface - Everytime I Close My Eyes.
Am I meant to sleep forever.

WHAT'S YOUR MOTTO?
-The Fray - All At Once
Hhahah. Interesting.

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
-Danity Kane - Show Stopper
Eh? :) Accurate. Cheh. Kidding lar.

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
-Flo Rida ft T Pain - Get Low
Oh God no. Shorty get low low low. 0.o

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
-Taylor Swift - Teardrops On My Guitar.
=(

WHAT IS 2 + 2?
-Coldplay - Viva La Vida
Whoa. A simple math question to be answered by a song which chronicles the French Revolution :)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIENDs?
-Gavin Degraw - I'm In Love With A Girl
Eh, I'm straight la.

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
-Melee - Imitation
Heh. Yes it's so fly. -.- or pathetic.

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
-The Bird and the Bee - How Deep Is Your Love.
-.-

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
-David Cook - Come Back To Me.
Heh. This is...confusinig.

WHAT WILL/DID YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
-Greenday - Boulevard of Broken Dreams
I am a sad case.

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
-Staind - This Is It.
HAHA. :)

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
-Sara Bareilles - Vegas.
I would love to go there.

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?
-Katy Perry - Waking Up In Vegas
Omg. I swear I didn't cheat. "It's all a blur last night"

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
-The Killers - Mr Brightside.
Eh?

WHAT DO YOU WANT RIGHT NOW?
-Darius - Colourblind
No way in hell I want that.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
-Evanescence - Call Me When You're Sober
Wow.

HOW WILL YOU DIE?
-Vanessa Carlton - A Thousand Miles
Damn. Just shut up and die already pleaseee.

DOES ANYONE LIKE U?
-Black Eyed Peas - My Humps.
They love my humps?! Oh no.

WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
-Toby Rand - Knocking On Heaven's Door
I don't wanna die.

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
-The Moffats - Miss You Like Crazy
Sigh.

Can't read my..

2009-06-30T04:45:00.000-07:00

Mum : Eh we have to go or we'll be late.
Me : Where are you going?
Dad : Pak toh.
Me : Aren't you a little too old for that?
Dad : Your mum is, not me.

For those who don't know what Pak Toh is, it's called dating.

2009-06-29T08:34:00.000-07:00

Delayed reflex action. I think I miss college now, looking through some of the pictures in my handphone. =(

I've said too much unto a heart of stone

2009-06-28T02:15:00.000-07:00

I'm counting down the days. :)

Okay. I'm thinking of getting a part time job. Either Starbucks or Kumon..

Starbucks

Pros :
* Skills which can be achieved. I can make use of this skill if I wanna get a job when I'm studying overseas. Also, I'll be able to make my own starbucks
* Should be fun - Think of the 'specialisation' concept in Economics.
* Perks - Free/Discounted Starbucks? =)

Cons :
*The pay may not be fulfilling, considering the amount of toiling.
*I'm not exactly good with machines
*I have to take a week off for my Kuching trip. Not too sure if any employer, especially of a F&B outlet would like that :(

Kumon

Pros :
*Twice a week only. Tuesday and Friday - So I don't have to work like a dog everyday.
*Relatively easy job - Marking Math and English homework
*Pleasant environment - No people yelling at you.

Cons :
*Heard from Audrey that the pay is RM5 per hour. - Pretty underpaid.
*You're not allowed to use your phone or mp3 while you're working - Why no phone? =S
*Aggregate pay rather low. Probably 70 bucks a week at the most.

I'm kinda bored of bumming already. Yes, hard to believe but I actually wanna work. Right now, I'm still undecided. Mum's suggesting Starbucks, so I can make coffee for her and Arn. Knowing them, they wouldn't spend money on ice-blended coffee. But I'll probably have to be toiling everyday, coming back exhausted. Kumon's only twice a week, but I want MONAYYYYY.

Gotta go job hunting soon. Getting bored of this mundane life already. :( Am pretty sure my parents would like to kick my ass out of this house.

Till then cheerio!

2009-06-26T05:50:00.000-07:00

I feel like giving my blog a facelift, but I'm too lazy to lift a finger. :(

Put my hands in the cookie jar.

2009-06-25T05:25:00.000-07:00

Listening to : Cookie Jar by The Dream

Today was eventful.

Watched Transformers 2. Pretty awesome I guess. It's good, considering it's a sequel. Most sequels kinda suck, but this one, awesome. A little lazy to do a movie review though. I think... that MEGAN FOX IS A LUCKY GIRL. She gets to star alongside Shia Lebeouf and Josh Duhamel. JOSH DUHAMEL! Raaar. Well, Megan's hot too. Yes, Audrey and one of her lesbian moments.

Moving on. I got stuck in a traffic jam after sending a friend home. How awesome. Gonna try to avoid taking that road. Traffic jams in PJ, especially near Eastin Hotel, around 7pm = RUSH HOUR. Why is it called rush hour when cars are bumper to bumper. You can't even rush. For goodness sake. :( Even the NKVE was jam.

Oh here's a thing. I needed directions to get to a friend's place. So yes, I used google maps. Part of the directions were to 'Exit at Lebuhraya Baru Lembah Klang'. What effing highway is that. I tried asking people, but everyone just went 'WTF?!'

And TODAY, I discovered what it was.

Lebuhraya Baru Lembah Klang = North Klang Valley Expressway (NKVE).

WTF. I've been driving down that highway ever since I could even drive. *omgwtfbbq*

Oh. Watching Jesse McCartney's latest video, How Do You Sleep feat Ludacris made me go "wtf" or "HAHA" or "omg wtf" every half a minute. I know it's just a music video. But just watch it, and you'll know what I mean. Observe the car scene. Just frickin observe it, will you?

Oh, and I'd like to kick someone in the *insert sensitive male organ here*.
DARN YOU. Pffft. What is your problem you twit. One minute you're okay, next minute you're gone bonkers. Good grief, you pms alot.

Ok. Gonna hit the showers and more CSI New York? :)

Taa.

2009-06-23T20:21:00.000-07:00

I don't wanna be anywhere but here :)

2009-06-23T08:44:00.000-07:00

I wonder why I let you drive me up the wall.
You confuse me.

On another note.

2009-06-21T23:06:00.000-07:00

I've graduated. Errr yay? But having too much freedom up my sleeves can be extremely frustrating. I miss having a billion and one things to do. Oh well, as Oscar Wilde would put it, "Moderation is a fatal thing. Nothing succeeds like excess". Excess freedom is good, nonetheless. Two days of holiday and I have been watching lots and lots of tv.

Wake up, eat, watch tv, eat, watch more tv, sleep, wake up, mamak, sleep.
Well the cycle is pretty similar everyday. Put it this way, it's not often that I get to do this during the exam period. Mum would make sure I wake up and not let me idle. So yeah. I love being idle for the moment.

I have three months to kill.
What's on the itinerary?
Rainforest Music Festival, that's for sure (The flight ticket and admission ticket have already been paid for).
As for the rest of the time, I'm just hoping to spend it with the ones I love. =)

This morning...

Dad : Wake up.
Me : Half an hour more please.

Well what do you expect it was 9a.m in the morning. -.-

Dad : I'm going out.

And one hour later (or so he says...)

Dad : Aud, are you awake.
Me : NO.
Dad : Yes you are.
Me : No, I'm not. Still sleeping.

Pointless much. Haha, Dad, you don't ask people if they're awake. You check if they are.

***

Mum : What are your plans this holiday
Me : You know what they are.
Mum : Yeah, vegetating.
Me : Hmmm. Watching movies and tv series isn't really considered vegetating.

According to the Oxford Dictionary,

vegetate / verb [v] (of a person)
to spend time doing very little and feeling bored.

According to the Mother's Dictionary

vegetate / verb [v] (of a person, HER DAUGHTER)
to spend time watching tv series be it on tv or her laptop, eating all the food at home, eating more at the mall, splurging cash at the cinemas.

It's subjective really. Subjected to interpretation. I take my stand by saying that what I'm doing isn't vegetating. Watching CSI helps your brain exercise ;) Prison Break on another note will always keep you occupied. Haha. Come on, you've gotta admit that it's better than watching American Pie or any other movie of that sort.

NOTE TO SELF.
Movies to watch this summer
-Transformers 2
-Harry Potter & The Half Blood Prince
-and a whole lot more that I can't think of now.

I heard the Picture of Dorian Gray is coming out this year. Not sure when though. Another one of Mr Wilde's plays. Heard that Colin Firth is acting in it. :) Looooooovely. Hot British guy with his British accent. Such a turn on ;)

Okay I'm going back to mum's version of vegetating.

CSI New York is the bomb, I'm telling you. Vegas is getting scary, Miami's just too full of bikini chicks and Latino thugs.
Danny and Lindsay ftw!

Ok raaaandooooommmmm. ;)

Lost and lonely, now you're giving me the will to survive.

2009-06-20T01:38:00.000-07:00

Maybe it's time.

I detest the feeling of someone leaving your life so unexpectedly. Sometimes I feel guilty for not spending enough time with him. It's sickening to feel that I did not make any initiative to break the formidable barrier that exists between us, our differences in language. Up till today, one week after he left us, I still can't believe he's gone.

I felt mad at myself that I took so long to even look into the coffin. Not because I was afraid about how a dead person looks like. It's the feeling that I could not believe that he has left. When mum told me about it over the phone, I thought I was in a nightmare. Even in my worst nightmares I had not dreamt of anyone dear to me leaving this world. And so, the day of his cremation came. It was hard to construe how I felt at that point in time. I saw my dad and his family shed tears when grandpa's coffin was pushed into the chamber for cremation. When the doors were closed, it was still hard to believe that he left.

Grandpa had always been someone we all look up to. Even at his age, with his eyesight deteriorating, he loved reading. He read all sorts of newspapers and books. He always used that same magnifying glass to read. As his eyesight got from bad to worse, he even made grandma read it out to him.

Grandpa's dedication towards education is a testimony to us all. Even when he was almost unable to look at words he never gave up. My point is, most of us have nearly perfect eyesight, and yet we would rather do other things instead of reading. But grandpa, is just legendary. Grandpa never gives up. In spite of his leg problems, he refuses to use a walking stick because he believes that he will be able to walk on his own.

Nevertheless, I hope grandpa is at a better place now.

People come and go, all we can do is cherish every moment with them and make it worthwhile.

Well, that's not the only hurdle in my life lately. But as compared to this, other problems seem extremely minute. Just like this, they are beyond my control. I'll be the tough girl that I always am.

I'm not going to pretend to be okay. I HAVE to be okay. =)

2009-06-16T23:09:00.000-07:00

If we could freeze time. Let's just stay here and not go anywhere. =)

I have scaled these city walls, only to be with you.

2009-06-08T05:14:00.000-07:00

As she stares blankly into space
The floor appears to be falling apart
The walls of her room are caving in
She wonders if life is coming to an end.
She questions, why can't she feel pain anymore?
Why can't she cry, let alone know how she really feels.

In a world full of a sea of faces
Her confusion manifests into despair
These faces disappear, one by one
Similar to a genocide
The mirrors no longer reflect
And she soon feels as if she's not alive.

She's tired living on life support
It's enough morphine for now
The prickling needles are starting to take its toll
What is it all for, she wonders
But the question remains unanswered.
Will it be worth this upheaval of emotions?

She still hasn't found what she's looking for.

Point blank.

2009-06-06T19:22:00.001-07:00

I'm losing it.
Need momentum. So desperately. Sigh.

Gym maybe? Jo, I wish you were hereee.

For you, Jo.

2009-06-05T21:24:00.000-07:00

Okay. This is a day late. But,
JOANNE IS LEGAL. Wooooot. And babe, this is for you. Only you. (Well, maybe a few others in the future.)

Happy 18th, Jo.
You can finally download porn, LEGALLY. ;)
(Yes, we all know you've been doing it illegally. Haha just kidding)

Anyway, here's your moment of epiphany.

Once again, happy 18th. You're now as old as I am.
Stay happy
Stay funny
Stay HORNY
Stay naughty
Don't you ever change babe.
Cause you're the bombbbb.

We shall never forget the crazy stuff we've done over the past 5 years ;)
-Customer appraisal forms. Simply priceless
-Prank calls ;D

-Illegal U-turns (you made me!)
-Talking cock
-Gym sessions which end up into talking sessions
-Study sessions, which are somehow effective
-Moooovie sessions ;)
-and CAMWHORING!

Looove you babe.

=)

Drag racer?

2009-06-04T23:16:00.000-07:00

I don't need to play Fast and Furious on my PS 2.
My dad gives all of us the real Fast and Furious on the road

;)

Fractured Fears

2009-05-27T06:17:00.002-07:00

I always thought that flushing the toilet after you pee was a reflex action.

Looks like it isn't.

=(

A good friend of mine(who shall remain anonymous) said.

2009-05-24T00:12:00.000-07:00

You girls can always use the excuse of period pain. It's unfair. You get away with it. There's no way we can get away with 'penis pain'.

TOO BAD. :D

We bear your babies. Cut us some slack. ;)

Cescie

2009-05-23T01:12:00.000-07:00

Cesc has been cleared off the spitting charges by the FA. Remember the time when he was accused of spitting at Brian Horton, Hull City's assistant manager? Well, I don't see any reason why he would do that. It's all false accusations, I would put it. It's the final week of the EPL season. All good things come to and end, and so do the bad things. :)

Oh, stoned, no?

Skype. Tsk tsk.

2009-05-22T21:17:00.000-07:00

A reason why you should never give your number in your skype profile.

12:07Joanne

12:14Audrey

yes babe?

may i help youu?

12:14Joanne

i said hi la

love you

12:14Audrey

awwwh love you too

how's life weii

do u have skype?

12:15Joanne

my life sucks

haha so much work

i had skype

i stupidly put my number on it right

until this asshole called me in the middle of the night for a blowjob

and my dad was like on the other side of the phone

i'm like

...................

12:16Audrey

wutuff

12:16Joanne

i know

and i didn't even know him

Some sex-addicts just can't get enough. *shakes head*

Gunners' new away kit.

2009-05-21T18:59:00.001-07:00

Hello there, folks :)

This stays... (stolen from Guardian)

This goes.... (stolen from Guardian)

(Also stolen from Guardian)

(Stolen from http://www.arseblog.com)

And these come in. :)

(Stolen from gunnerblog.com)

Midnight blue, it is not as ghastly as what most of the Arsenal bloggers think. Hey, no hard feelings. I'm pretty fond of midnight blue. It's pleasant for the eye, plus I never was a fan of the yellow away kit. Midnight blueis good. Plus Walcott and Cesc look good in it. Really really smart. xD
Gotta love Nike for that.

Any thoughts?

Oh, and Manchester United are wearing their new away kit for the Champions League finals. It's white and blue. Very much like Real Madrid's.

Taa. Mathematics calls. Routine resumes, only with no Red Bull. Don't wanna suffer another 'crash and burn' effect. Have a nice day!

:)